Ten years ago today, it was my first day of school at the University of Toronto. I lazily listened to the radio after the alarm went off, until a breaking story about a wayward airplane interrupted the newscast. In the living room, I turned on the television and watched the second one arrive – the…
Tag: pain
How to put a serious damper on someone’s morning
If you really want to take the wind out of an innocent person’s sails first thing in the morning, tell them about your stillborn baby. That does the trick. Yesterday was the first day of school, and I was lucky enough to have an easy and anonymous day in the kindergarten wing, where none of…
The Summer of My Initiation
It’s almost time to go back to school. Being in the school building this past week, I could feel reality setting in. It’s time to get my act together. Before I get completely immersed in that (so to speak), there are a few more things I need to officially process. I think all summers are…
How Am I?
Disclaimer: As I reread this post, I see that it is on the grumpy side. It is not beautiful. I’m still gonna post it, because, well, blogging has become my therapy and there’s no turning back now. You’re stuck with me. (And if you don’t read this, I’ll never know.) When people ask me “How…
A Tribute to Jack Layton
Today, as I write this, millions have gathered their minds together to honour you, Jack. I hope you can see them. They drew all over the square with chalk and love. They got up hours before the sun, to make sure they could come see you. They are shedding tears for you and your family…
A Blessed Event
We are an incredibly fortunate family. I have always known I was a very lucky girl, and I have always tried not to take things for granted… although, of course, all of us do sometimes. But I have never been more aware of my blessings than I am right now. From the moment we began…
One Month
A few days ago, on August 8th, I began a post about it being one month since Sebastian’s birth. I’ve always been the type to measure and commemorate, even just with some focused thoughts, the anniversaries (and monthaversaries and weekaversaries) of important things in my life. I guess it makes me feel closer to those…
Learning about grief
I don’t have a lot of experience with grief. Today, one month after Sebastian’s death, I have been reading about the experiences of other “babylost” parents on two websites, glow in the woods and Unspoken Grief. There is a lot I relate to in the words of these bereaved mothers and fathers. I’ve also been…
Day One, Part II
[Note to readers: This has been the hardest post for me to write. It may be the same to read. Just thought you should know.] Sean and I both feel very lucky to live in the time and place we do. Here in Ontario, in 2011, if an extra ultrasound is offered or asked for,…
Day One: Bereaved Parents
It is strange to think back to Friday, June 8th. For one thing, I can’t believe it’s already been twelve days since then. For another, I can’t believe it’s only been twelve days since then. But above all, it was an inherently strange day. We left the hospital with our painful news and a prescription…