Dear Sebastian, Today is the last day of the year 2011. This has been a very special year for us. In 2011, we heard your heart beating. We saw you swimming around in my womb, and we found out you were a boy. In 2011, I got to feel you moving inside me, and it…
Tag: pain
Thinking about Jesus’ Mama
I was brought up Quaker, Christian in a mild sort of way. We didn’t talk lots about Jesus, but we knew what Christmas was meant to be about. We did Christmas pageants, we sang carols, we read the Bible story of the birth of Jesus every year. (Of course, we also read ‘Twas the Night…
Stillbirth: O Magnum Mysterium
This Tuesday, Sean and I were back at the out-of-town hospital, to speak again with the doctor about Sebastian’s autopsy. Thankfully, this time we didn’t wait long at all – and we had already eaten lunch at my favourite Indian restaurant, so that helped my state of mind. The doctor cut right to the chase:…
Little bits of blue
Many times in the past couple weeks, for some reason, I’ve found myself thinking about Sebastian’s hair. People who didn’t know me as a kid are surprised when they see E’s platinum-blondness – but I never was. I figured he didn’t have a choice, since Sean and I were both blond as kids. I got…
Dilovely’s Playlist: 20 Sad Songs that Sound Happy
I know I’m not the only one having a mercurial November. It’s an odd month for a lot of us (including the thermometer). In honour of the confusing nature of the in-between season, let’s pick up our spirits with some songs that are tragic but sound lively and fun. K? Tears of a Clown (1967)…
Encroaching November
I was a little not-myself this weekend. I had several of those FAIL moments where I couldn’t believe my own stupidity, including locking my entire purse in the car and turning what should have been a nice TGIF dinner with my girlfriends into a parking-lot fest during which I had to borrow one friend’s phone…
Every gal has her limit
As I said in my last post, Sean and I were off on Friday because we had an appointment. It happened to be an appointment at an out-of-town hospital, to speak to a specialist about Sebastian’s autopsy. In the past three-and-a-half months, I have discovered that, fortunately for me, I am not very susceptible to…
The Emotional Rollercoaster of Toddler Parenting
I tried to think of some non-cliché for that title (the emotional elevator? swing-set? hilly gravel road?) but nothing says it like rollercoaster. Fast-then-slow, precipices not always where you think, hectic twists and turns and loops… that’s what we have around here these days. For example, bedtime has become, er, difficult. Leading up to E’s…
BANG Movie Review: Footloose (the remake) Meets Reality
It’s a classic: twinkle-toes city boy arrives in small town USA where the kids aren’t allowed to dance, and makes it his mission to get the bylaw changed – and win the heart of the preacher’s daughter. When we first saw the trailer for the new Footloose movie, Sean asked, “Why do they need to…
How the Little Boy Saved the Summer
I’ve finally finished reading Empty Cradle, Broken Heart, after almost three months. It’s not a book I always felt like reading, but I’ve been glad to have it around. Funnily enough, just during E’s crankiest sick days last month, I got to the part about parenting your previous and subsequent children after experiencing a loss….