Kindergarten Quotables: Smooth Operator

{Agh, “Preschooleristics” no longer applies to my boy! Although, admittedly, a few of these are from the pre-school days.}

My little guy is a smoothie in many ways.

The Salesman

Once when we made cookies this summer, E had one left over. I suggested he put it in a container to keep it from getting stale. The next day he saw that cookie he’d carefully preserved, and winningly offered it to me:

“Hey, Mama. There’s a fine fresh cookie, that if you would like it, I would certainly give it to you.”

The Cover-Upper

While playing with water in the sink, trying to gloss over the fact that he’d gotten the hand towel wet “accidentally” for a second time:

“Mama, I’m absolutely not going to put this towel in the water again.”

The Butter-Upper

Before dinner, when he was hoping for a certain favourite food and discovered I’d already put it on his plate – a surge of gratitude followed quickly by reality:

“You’re the greatest! Mommy ever! ‘Cause you do everything I tell you to… usually… Sometimes.”

The Game Show Host

When we play Trivial (Trevor) Pursuit, we ask E spur-of-the-moment kid-style multiple-choice questions so he’s part of the game. Sometimes he asks us his own questions too, such as:

“When did E turn three in eighty-thirty-nine? Was it after Christmas, before Halloween, or in the middle of Valentine’s Day?”

The Shyster

He had found our container with a couple dozen chocolate Mini-Eggs in it, and asked if he could have one. I said (interested to see if I could trust him), “Sure, you can have one. Thank you for asking so nicely.” I returned a few minutes later to find the number greatly depleted. I said, “Hey, bud. That looks like you had way more than just one.”

“Oh, no, Mummy. I meant one layer.”

The Charmer

At the end of a visit from Skye and baby G last spring, E blew them some kisses, and then invented a blowable hug as well. It’s a gesture with both hands touching his chest and then reaching out like you would with a kiss. It’s pretty fantastic. It’s come into regular usage in our household.

The Casanova

Like most kids, E is typically short-winded when asked “What did you do at school today?” But one day he offered, “We had a kissing competition.”

“Oh? Who were you kissing?” (He told us her name but it has been omitted to protect her privacy.) “How does that work? Is it a race?”

“You’re just kissing and kissing and kissing.”

“Wow. So, how do you know who won?”

“We weren’t even done when recess was over.”

Yikes. I hope it was all consensual. He did mention that the girl in question didn’t want to hang out with him later in the week.

But there is something to be said for his charisma. Here’s a little visual of his power over (very small) women:

e and girlfriend

This is not the one from the kissing competition. This was love-at-first-roll-in-the-grass (literal) at the Cape Cod wedding. Happily, the little lady was not one to waste time being coy. This relationship ran the gamut from hand-holding to steamrolling to wrestling.



4 thoughts on “Kindergarten Quotables: Smooth Operator

  1. emerge says:

    OMG. I had heard that one-layer one before, but you made me spit my smoothie all over my clean computer screen. Thanks a lot. 😉

    I HADN’T heard about the kissing competition though! wow, I wonder how that went! I am picturing many different things… (one of them being the marathon that I had with AB the other day! Though I suspect the kindergarten version was less mushy.)

    I should find the notes I took from our drive back from Cape Cod. He was on fire. Oh, and you should post some of his rhyming stuff from the trip! What did he say yesterday at the party that was like that… Shoot, it was really great and I didn’t write it down or anything.

    And then there was Saturday night when I was going to read him his bedtime story up in his bed. He got up there first and then turned to me and said “Come on, beh-beh!” in this rock-star kind of voice. I looked at him and said “WHAT did you say?” and he said “Come on, beh-beh-now!” No one knows where he got this. But he was really into it.

    I’m glad he’s still a little bit cute.

    • dilovelyadmin says:

      Yeah – I didn’t write down many of those rhymes but I’m sure we can remember some. I’d love to see those notes…

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