So there I was, thinking and blogging about being overwhelmed, and then my hubby had a cycling accident. Right on Father’s Day! Nothin’ like it to both worsen and improve my state of mind (and overwhelmedness).
There was a chain mishap, and now he’s got a broken left wrist that will have to have a plate put in, road rash all up his right arm, a wrenched ankle with a laceration that required ten stitches, and myriad bonus aches and pains. I guess it’s obvious why I haven’t been blogging this week.
Here are some things I learned, and other thoughts I’ve had, springing from this situation:
On the Downside…
- My hubbibi is in a lot of pain, and creaks/groans like a crotchety old man much more than usual.
- He can’t join us in the family bed, which is sad.
- Suddenly, the onus is ALL ON ME. For EVERYTHING… from changing diapers to making dinner to feeding the cats to helping my hubby wash his hair.
- This sometimes makes me somewhat (hah! right honey?) grouchy.
- When I’m especially low on sleep, some tiny little thing (e.g. We have one jillion bloody containers in the drawer and none of them match with the bloody lids!!) can be enough to make me SNAP. (And by SNAP, I mean bang the drawer really hard and stomp out of the room.)
- I don’t like being grouchy, because it makes me feel guilty and weak for inflicting grouchiness on others, which in turn makes me grouchier. Plus, what right have I to be grouchy? All my limbs are intact.
- (Corollary question: Are we, as humans, entitled to have days when we’re nasty, even unto others? I can’t make myself say yes.)
- In this way, I question my own toughness and resilience as a person. Shouldn’t I be bearing up better?
- It’s hard to manage to blog at times like these, even with lots of “blogworthy” thoughts going around.
On the Upside…
- I can look at it as a test: when the going gets tough, the tough get going! Yeah! I shall be brimful of patience and kindness, and amaze the world by doing absolutely everything.
- In a weird way, some overwhelmedness went away when I decided to OWN THE ONUS. Suddenly I could a) give myself permission to neglect certain things, and b) stop stressing about whether I was doing more than my share and not getting enough “me” time. (Though it was a bit shaming to realize that I have indeed been stressing about that very thing… how dumb.)
- As it turns out, I haven’t had to do everything after all, I’ve had lots of help:
- Numerous family members are here to help with E and do things around the house…
- So many wonderful friends and relatives are sending support and love that we are awash in it…
- The lovely folks at With the Grain keep sending delectable food…
- So I haven’t even really been tested at all.
- Above all, the love of my life did not get squished by a car. Gimped-out and useless though he may be (hey, those are his own words), he is going to be fine, and in relatively short order. He is still himself. I am incredibly grateful for this, realizing how easily things could have been very different. That alternative does not bear thinking about.
- And he was helped out by some very kind strangers when he had the accident – I was not even home, but these people called the ambulance, took the bike home, and made sure Sean was in good hands. Bless them.
And so, to sum up: