The Tough Get Going – don’t they?

So there I was, thinking and blogging about being overwhelmed, and then my hubby had a cycling accident. Right on Father’s Day! Nothin’ like it to both worsen and improve my state of mind (and overwhelmedness).

There was a chain mishap, and now he’s got a broken left wrist that will have to have a plate put in, road rash all up his right arm, a wrenched ankle with a laceration that required ten stitches, and myriad bonus aches and pains. I guess it’s obvious why I haven’t been blogging this week.

Here are some things I learned, and other thoughts I’ve had, springing from this situation:

On the Downside…

  • My hubbibi is in a lot of pain, and creaks/groans like a crotchety old man much more than usual.
  • He can’t join us in the family bed, which is sad.
  • Suddenly, the onus is ALL ON ME. For EVERYTHING… from changing diapers to making dinner to feeding the cats to helping my hubby wash his hair.
  • This sometimes makes me somewhat (hah! right honey?) grouchy.
  • When I’m especially low on sleep, some tiny little thing (e.g. We have one jillion bloody containers in the drawer and none of them match with the bloody lids!!) can be enough to make me SNAP. (And by SNAP, I mean bang the drawer really hard and stomp out of the room.)
  • I don’t like being grouchy, because it makes me feel guilty and weak for inflicting grouchiness on others, which in turn makes me grouchier. Plus, what right have I to be grouchy? All my limbs are intact.
  • (Corollary question: Are we, as humans, entitled to have days when we’re nasty, even unto others? I can’t make myself say yes.)
  • In this way, I question my own toughness and resilience as a person. Shouldn’t I be bearing up better?
  • It’s hard to manage to blog at times like these, even with lots of “blogworthy” thoughts going around.

On the Upside…

  • I can look at it as a test: when the going gets tough, the tough get going! Yeah! I shall be brimful of patience and kindness, and amaze the world by doing absolutely everything.
  • In a weird way, some overwhelmedness went away when I decided to OWN THE ONUS. Suddenly I could a) give myself permission to neglect certain things, and b) stop stressing about whether I was doing more than my share and not getting enough “me” time. (Though it was a bit shaming to realize that I have indeed been stressing about that very thing… how dumb.)
  • As it turns out, I haven’t had to do everything after all, I’ve had lots of help:
  • Numerous family members are here to help with E and do things around the house…
  • So many wonderful friends and relatives are sending support and love that we are awash in it…
  • The lovely folks at With the Grain keep sending delectable food…
  • So I haven’t even really been tested at all.
  • Above all, the love of my life did not get squished by a car. Gimped-out and useless though he may be (hey, those are his own words), he is going to be fine, and in relatively short order. He is still himself. I am incredibly grateful for this, realizing how easily things could have been very different. That alternative does not bear thinking about.
  • And he was helped out by some very kind strangers when he had the accident – I was not even home, but these people called the ambulance, took the bike home, and made sure Sean was in good hands. Bless them.

And so, to sum up:


7 thoughts on “The Tough Get Going – don’t they?

  1. Bev says:

    Couldn’t have said it better myself! (And why would I? It wasn’t my husband who crashed in flames. But you know what I mean.) Sometimes you remind me of your mom.

  2. emoley says:

    HUZZAH! I’m really glad he didn’t get squished by a car too. or anything else.

    Own that onus, baby. (Is it acceptable to use the word “onus” as a dirty word, like, an insult? “you’re SUCH an onus!!” it totally sounds like one.)

  3. Krista says:

    Glad to hear that Sean is okay and will heal relatively quickly! And I don’t know if being grouchy is a right… but I certainly think most of us have earned the privilege from time to time… and you didn’t hurt the drawer’s feelings by slamming it. 😀

  4. Darci says:

    We here in NB are just as glad that Sean didn’t get flattened as well!!! And my dear, you may feel by times that you do not have it all under control, but hey who the heck really does?? Those that say they do are not telling the whole truth! Revel in the fact that you have a wonderful life full of things, people and circumstances that able to be out of control and crazy! xoxox

  5. Bev says:

    The previous comment could have been made by no one else. I recognized its provenance instantly, without having looked at the blue lettering.

    just so ya know I know him…

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