Hi, lovelies… It’s been a long time! It’s odd thinking about how when my kids were little, I was blogging so often that a couple of weeks between posts felt like forever. My kids are way more independent now, and yet… I seem to have more difficulty getting to the blogging.
When I consider it, I don’t think it’s an issue of time nearly as much as an issue of… fear. For lack of a better word.
Actually, that’s not strictly true. The summer of 2024 was actually the busiest summer I’ve had since… 1993, when I spent almost the entire summer staffing at Camp. So this past July and August, it WAS a time thing.
But since then – and before then – there’s more to it. I always have ideas for things I want to write about, but I want them to be properly cooked. It seems unacceptable to me to post something even slightly under-pondered. Which kinda takes the whimsy out of things.
Why do I feel the need to be so painstaking? The change has been gradual and insidious enough that I didn’t realize it at first, but I’ve come to see that I’m nervous to put any part of me out there. The acidity of the internet is too high.
On the right-hand end of the sociopolitical spectrum, you have people devoting their lives to hatred, looking for any excuse to spew some. On the left, you have folks who treat even well-intentioned missteps as heinous betrayals. In the middle, there are still people who allow leeway, forgive people, and look for the good in others… but somehow the far ends are scary enough to keep me from blogging.
And this is even with my very small intimate readership. There is an only-recently-understood part of me that worries that if my readership did suddenly grow large, it would only be because I said something that made people angry.
Add this to the fact that EVERYTHING going on right now is divisive. All of Earth’s events are making people mad at each other. Or so it feels. (I get pretty angry myself sometimes.) It’s hard to write about fun things when you’re preoccupied with awful things. And it’s also hard to write about awful things, generally. Hence the paralysis.
But this seems like a cowardly outlook. Blogging has been very valuable to me as a way to process and share and connect with people. And it’s not like I feel the need to process less these days. If there exists a way to make some sense of things, I need to at least try.
And there’s another thing I’ve decided to do. During those moments when it feels like toxicity is taking over the world, I’m going to put some love out there. (Officially, in written form.) Or something that feels smiley – or at least gentle. If I can radiate even a little bit of positive energy into the atmosphere, that’s a little less room for the meanie vibes.
Time to re-find this habit. Write more, worry less.
(Right, Skye?)
***
Yes, just write! Also in less than the week predicted.
Thanks for pushing me. <3 <3 <3 (There MIGHT be some report card procrastination playing into this.)
Stick with the middle sometimes – it is those folks who are looking for good in others, helping others – those people choose to act out of compassion and kindness and love – they are the ones aligned with the true purpose in life. They are the ones who will make a difference. Keep sending your positive blogs.
Thank you, Kathie!! You are right, of course. <3 Thanks for reading!
It does feel like the tenor of the internet and public discourse has gotten so acidic as to be impossible but I do love to read your thoughts.
Thank you, Arwen! <3 That helps. Whenever I'm remembering my first days of blogging, I think of you - I read some posts on a blog you had: very short posts, fun and thought-provoking and you made it seem so do-able.
I always enjoy reading your blog, you have a great way of expressing your self.
Wow, thank you, Alice! I didn’t know you were a reader but that means a lot to me!
I think there are tons of people who are kind and accepting. Unfortunately, they aren’t news worthy. So we see the peaks of the waves only, the truly egregious or truly amazing . We need to hear more from the folks in the middle. Plus, I enjoy reading your work.
Thank you, Beth. <3 You're right! Maybe we should all studiously ignore those truly egregious folks. I hate to give them the attention they're trolling for.
I feel you – on multiple issues, (in no particular order: including time management, the more-independent- yet-more-busy children schedules, procrastination, over-analyzing and more….) (plus, we really shouldn’t discount post-COVID pandemic world and the fact that WE are changing too! Thank you hormones!)
There is also a portion of us (or maybe just me!) that don’t get to see you nearly often enough, and gobble up your words, ponderings, thoughts and more – no matter how dark, or bright, how short or long. You’ve always Inspired me, in some way or another, with every post, and I always am happy to see a “DiLovely” notification in my feeds! I am happy you’ve re-found your way back here, hopefilly to re-discover a passion that will once again bring YOU joy and fulfillment ??
You’re an amazing Human, and I will remind you of this, if you suddenly find “haters”, “trolls” or anyone nit-picking! I promise.
C
Thank you for your so-kind words, now and always, Carrie! It means so much to me that you always read and make me feel that my posts are worthwhile. You are an amazing Human too. I also wish we saw more of each other, and hope we get a chance to catch up sometime soon!
And you make a good point – the world has been different since Covid, and just because we’ve normalized it doesn’t mean we aren’t still impacted… Sigh.
So very happy you’ve stuck your toe back in… oops I mean your words, love that you are pushing through to writing again… now to find me some of that get back to-it-iveness.. hugs and thanks for the blog!
Thank you, Nancy! Hugs to you, and best of luck finding that back-to-it-iveness – I believe in you! Just take one step on the path, and the second will be easier. (I hope, hehe.)