Sometimes on car trips, during a lull in conversation, I like to start up a game of “Who’s hotter?” At first, when I would ask Sean something like, “Okay, honey, who’s hotter: Alyson Hannigan or Cobie Smulders?” he was uncomfortable. I guess initially it didn’t seem like a good idea to talk about other people’s hotness with one’s wife. But now he’s used to it, and he joins in. He knows I won’t fly into a jealous rage. We discuss both men and women, to keep it fair.
It’s all very fluffy and superficial – mostly based on appearance, though occasionally other aspects enter into it. Recently, while in the car with Skye and Auntie Beth, we had some really tough ones to decide on, and had to bring in nationality and extra talents (for example, Anne Hathaway vs. Rachel McAdams was almost impossible; Anne almost got it because she can sing, but then… Rachel’s Canadian, to the point that she eschews L.A., which is impressive and heartwarming to Canucks).
Blah blah. Point is, we went to see the movie This Means War for Skye’s birthday, and it’s a classic game of who’s hotter. I decided not to call this a movie review, because I think it (the post, or the film? let’s say both) might be just too silly for an actual review. Plus, if I were to “spoil” this movie (and I won’t), it wouldn’t make much difference to the viewing experience, trust me.
When I told Sean what we were going to see, he said, “Uh… do you know what it’s about?” in this tone where I could tell it bombed out on Rotten Tomatoes. (I’ve just confirmed that critics gave it 26%, but audiences gave it 70%.)
It’s the tale of a love triangle between two best friends (and co-CIA-agents) and the one girl they each meet independently. I purposely did a little predicting to myself, about 15 minutes into the movie, just to see if I would be able to call the plot predictable. Guess what: I CAN. I was right about everything! Yay me.
But I didn’t hate it. None of the three of us who went to see it (all female) hated it. It was reasonably chuckleable, and the writing wasn’t awful, and the starring actors are all good (and good-looking) and we all agreed it was fun.
It would not be fun for everyone. Definitely don’t see this movie if:
- You are an ex-spy or an ex-international criminal, suffering from work-related PTSD;
- You have a phobia of blue eyes (don’t scroll down);
- You have ever been stalked or had an intruder come into your house (I have to admit, I was chilled by the scene where the heroine is dancing blithely around in her kitchen, never seeing the two agents who have entered the house and are lurking – with the best of intentions, but still… the scene was one “ominous tone” away from a horror movie);
- You have a zero-tolerance policy regarding shooting, explosions, breaking glass, fisticuffs, and the like;
- You find Reese Witherspoon, Tom Hardy, or Chris Pine repulsive. (Don’t scroll down.)
I’m not big on shooting and explosions myself, but I decided that the movie is actually a parody of spy films, seeing as all the action sequences were over-the-top ridiculous.
Also, This Means War does seem to be a valiant attempt to unite Guy Flick and Chick Flick: in addition to all the CIA-action madness, there is the love triangle! TWO men vying and longing for the affections of one woman, who luckily has a BFF to whom she tells everything. Plus: eye candy for all preferences. (Unless you insist on brown eyes.)
The romance part, it must be acknowledged, is ridiculous too – terrible, in fact. But fun, if you’re not hoping to get anything real out of it. Apart from the love triangle, there were, as it turns out, a couple moments that sorta made me go “Aww.” So that’s always nice.
But what’s my point here? Why write about this frivolous movie?
Why, to ask Who’s hotter, of course!
Who will our heroine pick? More importantly, who would YOU pick?
And here are Reese and her gams (during the filming of this movie – in Vancouver!), just for shiggles.