Hypes and Gripes – June 2011

• Gripe: My blog DISAPPEARING for a week. Now that I’ve looked at my stats, I can see that it was a blank, unviewable page for seven whole days (even though I didn’t realize it for the first few). Scary.
• Hype: It’s back! My daddy fixed it!! Yay! Dear blog, I apologize for updating your plugins so infrequently and for not upgrading to the new version of WordPress many months ago as I should have. Won’t happen again.
• H: Yearbook DONE, at long last! Now let’s hope we didn’t leave out or misspell something important.
• H: Report cards DONE, at long last! Now let’s hope I didn’t leave out or misspell something important.
• G: Yearbook and report cards wiped me out, coinciding like that. I was very tired and grouchy for at least a week there. (Actually, I’m still working on catching up. Not too resilient right now.) You can maybe tell that the errands mentioned below were done during that time, hence the inner kvetching.
• G: The cover story on Star Weekly (“number one source for celebrity news”, they’ll have you know) about eating disorders and starvation diets, featuring shocking photos of ultra-skinny celebs, mostly in swimsuits. I saw it in the checkout line at the grocery and it frankly pissed me off. This is the same dishrag that regularly highlights “Best and Worst Beach Bodies”, designed to make all normal women feel awful about themselves, because it is heinous to show up on a beach with muffin top or cellulite. What the eff-bomb do they think celebrities are going to do??
• G: Bra shopping. Why don’t they seem to make my favourite bra in my size anymore? There is just no way I’m ever going to be quite as boobelicious as a DD. And bra shopping is a pain in the you-know-whats now that I’m old and have been through the lactation experience. When you’re a thirteen-year-old late bloomer just hoping you might actually, finally fill an A-cup, the adventure of trying on different bras is quite titillating (sorry, couldn’t resist). But now, I just look at the overwhelming panoply and grumble inwardly about how I don’t have time for this – plus, the super-power-push-up-supreme-cleavage-deluxe bra is just NOT practical, thanks! I need the girls to stay in there.
• H: My new two-year-old enjoying his birthday presents. He has been particularly stoked about the travel easel, art supplies, bouncy ball, bubble maker, sidewalk chalk, and toy school bus. In fact, he was so sad to let go of his school bus at bedtime the first night that he apparently sobbed bitterly and had to give it a kiss and a hug to make himself feel better.
• G: His irrepressible passion for his markers. Good thing Crayola knows how to make ’em washable. (Note: he DOES know better, he absolutely knows that we only draw on paper, but he was so pleased with himself that he romped around the crib with a big grin during his time-out, watching Daddy clean up. Also, he markered all over his own legs, but because he was without pants at the time, the photos are not bloggable.)

• H: Skype date between E and the son of Auntie Em’s best friend. She was visiting their family in North Carolina – this little guy is 16 months older than mine, but they’re both cute and blond and articulate, and totally able to take in stride the miraculous futurism of video-chat. It was cute. They compared balls.
• G: My boy swearing like a sailor. He’s gone from filling in for “What the…?!” to simply saying, for the joy of it, “Heck. Heckheckheckheckheck. Heck!” And watching us defiantly the whole time.
• H: Hearing it was hilarious. (But it’s really hard not to laugh at these moments when you know you mustn’t because it’ll send the completely wrong message.)
• (Side note: This morning I actually said “What the heck?!” in E’s presence, so of course he jubilantly chimed in. I tried to fix it by saying things like “What in the world?!” and even “What in the Sam Hill?!” with lots of expression, but they didn’t take at all. Guess there’s nothing so satisfying as good ol’ heck.)
• H: A couple other recent habits my son has picked up: talking about what he likes or loves (e.g. when the window is open in the car, he’ll say, “I like the wind!” many times in a row, or when we reminded him on the way to a visit that Grandma has a pond, he said, “I love the pond!” ad nauseam); and loving Mommy’s arms. He will take hold of one of my arms and hug it and kiss it, and blow raspberries on it. (I taught him the word “embouchure” to refer to his raspberry technique.)
• H: Grapefruit Splash hand soap in my bathroom. It’s so juicy and zesty that I can hardly wait to wash my hands. Not to mention deliciously fragrant samples of certain skin care items from Nature Balance Wellness, where my sister now works. Including some soothing products for baby bums. 🙂
• G: Speaking of babies, Baby #2 has been poking me in my right side for a month straight. It’s getting rather sore.
• G: Today at the midwives’ I found out it’s not a knee or an elbow, but his head. Which means A) said head is not remotely where it’s supposed to be yet, and B) he’s in there diagonally, reclining like he’s in a La-Z-Boy. If my uterus wasn’t already some weird shape, it is now!
• H: Other than that, Baby #2 seems great so far. Only two months (or so) left – I can hardly believe it! (Wow, we really have to get on that name thing…)
• H: Performing this Friday! Two of the five of us performing the Invoketress group numbers are 7+ months pregnant, so it’s kinda special. Plus, really good choreographies that are actually performance-ready!
• G: One of my costumes took some serious adjusting this afternoon, and now I’m all needle-pricked and I even burned myself on the glue gun like a doofus. Sigh. Why do I procrastinate on these things? (The answer is, I do not have an affinity for sewing.)
• G: I’m missing the end-of-year staff party in order to perform. This year, due to major rearrangement in our Board, we are losing many beloved teachers all at once, so I really wish I could be there for the official farewell. There’s going to be lots of crying (in which I would no doubt participate), and heartfelt speeches I really don’t want to miss. [Sad face.]
• H: Only a week left of school!! In my case, I’m most psyched about A) not climbing four flights of stairs several times a day while pregnant, B) not spending time on the third floor of an un-air-conditioned 90-year-old school while pregnant, C) not rushing to get E to the babysitter in time to get to school for yard duty, and D) not having to quell the antsiness of large groups of children who just want to get to summer already. Go nuts, kids!

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