Happy Second Birthday, Rainbow Baby

AB's second birthday

Dear Delicious Little Girl,

Two years ago yesterday, you came peacefully into the world, and immediately began howling. It was a day joyous beyond description for the people who love you.

Since then, we’ve learned a lot about you. Some things we learned right away:

  • You like to be snuggled – but not every second.
  • You are unafraid to use your voice to express yourself and your needs.
  • You have a strong set of pipes.
  • Your beautiful eyes can break hearts.

Other things it has been our privilege to watch developing:

  • You love music and dancing.
  • Your smile and your excitement are infectious.
  • You are really into books and stories.
  • You learn fast – when it comes to things you care about.
  • Your verbal skills are, quite literally, off the charts.
  • Your dramatic skills are also pretty stellar, especially the trembling pouty lip + tragic wilting combo.
  • You know exactly what you want (even if it’s the opposite of what you wanted three seconds ago), and you will furiously stand up for it.
  • You will try any new food that’s going – in fact, you insist upon it.
  • You are independent such that if we weren’t watching, you would just wander right off without us.
  • You are determined, and you really, really, really want to do it yourself.
  • You are very observant of people, and somehow, you already understand how to be compassionate.
  • You adore your big brother and want to do everything he does.
  • Your cheeks are so kissable, we can hardly stand it.
  • You give wonderful hugs.

There are many moments every day when I just marvel at the fact that we are the family who gets to take care of you.

Here is a little video to celebrate you. It includes many of the people who love you – but I wish it could show all of us who know the heartrending gratification of loving your adorable little self, and watching you grow. So fast.

Happy birthday, Sweetie. You’re the best.



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Dear Rainbow Baby

Dear Rainbow Baby,

You have been living inside me for almost 34 weeks, and I’m so thrilled you’re there. Your Daddy and brother and I love you very much, and you have already made us very happy, just by doing your thing: kicking and moving around, and growing.

In a few more days, you will be at the same point of your growth that your second brother Sebastian was at when he died. (I started to call him your big brother, but he will never be big. I’d call him your older brother, but he will only be older than you for those few more days.) I think about the two of you together a lot, because his only home was the place you are now. We love him very much, but we are extremely glad you have not been following his lead.

The pregnancy website I go to says that you are the size of a butternut squash (a 4.2-5.8-pound one).


I like this image: butternut squashes are smooth and beautiful, and seem a lot more babyish than, say, cauliflower (from week 25) or especially durian fruit from last week! (I hope no human babies look even remotely like this.)


I’m pretty sure you are already over 5 pounds, because at your last regular ultrasound you were 4 lb 11 oz. (That is already more than Sebastian weighed when he was born – 4 lb 8 oz.) Good for you, Baby.

Yesterday was a big day for our family. You were (as you often are) at the forefront of our minds, because first thing in the morning, Daddy and I went to the out-of-town hospital to have the cardiologist look at your heart. And Baby, you are doing so well – your little heart is formed just as it should be, functioning wonderfully. We got to see it on the screen, pumping away in all its complexity. It’s hard to believe that between the two of us and the powers that be, we are building all those amazing organs of yours that are doing their intricate jobs. At this stage, your kidneys are working, because you’re peeing a lot in there. Your eyes open and close. Your brain is growing and getting smarter. Your ears can hear me singing – and probably even recognize the songs. I will be sure to sing lots for you. Continue reading “Dear Rainbow Baby”

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