motherhood

Journey to the two-child* family

After twelve days with the new girl in the house, we are settling in. Two whole, living children. As expected, it’s a rather large adjustment. Worth it in every way, of course… but large nonetheless. I guess there’s still lots I haven’t told you, starting with the big weekend o’ birthing, but finding moments to write has become a wee […]

Dear Rainbow Baby, now that you’ve arrived

Dear, sweet Rainbow Baby A, You are finally here. Today you turned four days old. You arrived on Sunday morning, September 30th, at 10:21, after about thirteen hours of labour. It was a beautiful autumn day, and we could see spectacular orange and red trees from the hospital room. Precious girl, it was so amazing to meet you, finally. I […]

To my big boy, before his little sister arrives

Dearest E, We have been talking about your baby sister a lot this week, because we know she will be here very soon. In fact, as it’s now Thursday evening, chances are very good you’ll meet her within 48 hours! This morning you remembered, very soon after waking up, that your sister is almost here. It was so awesome to […]

right where i am 2012: one year

I first read the writing of Angie, of still life with circles, last summer, during my first tentative steps into the baby loss blogosphere. I was very moved by this post I read of hers at Glow in the Woods, a blog for babylost parents of which she happens to be the editor. Last year she created the “right where […]

What makes mothers?

It’s interesting, the things that kindergartners say about their mothers. I recently overheard a fragment of conversation at kindergarten snacktime, involving one of the kids I like to call “pop-up children” (teachers, you know the ones I’m talking about). This is what I heard: “…and then she punched me! In the face! My mom!” Wise little boy beside him, wisely […]

Why I Love My Midwives

As you know, baby-in-progress and I are receiving shared prenatal care from a renowned hospital ob/gyn clinic and our midwifery team. (All of this care is covered by our socialized medicine in Ontario. Thank God.) I’d like to dedicate this blog post to my midwives, because they simply rock the casbah, on so many levels. The Myths of Midwifery I […]

Anxiety Sucks

Hello, beautiful Di-hards. I’m freaking out a little bit. I mean, I’m not hyperventilating or feeling faint or anything. I’m pretty sure you can’t tell by looking at me (unless you catch me at very specific moments). Tomorrow, baby-in-progress is scheduled to have a fetal ECG (echocardiogram) at the hospital. Which is great – it’s part of the shared, extra […]

Thinking about Jesus’ Mama

I was brought up Quaker, Christian in a mild sort of way. We didn’t talk lots about Jesus, but we knew what Christmas was meant to be about. We did Christmas pageants, we sang carols, we read the Bible story of the birth of Jesus every year. (Of course, we also read ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas with a similar […]

How the Little Boy Saved the Summer

I’ve finally finished reading Empty Cradle, Broken Heart, after almost three months. It’s not a book I always felt like reading, but I’ve been glad to have it around. Funnily enough, just during E’s crankiest sick days last month, I got to the part about parenting your previous and subsequent children after experiencing a loss. It talks about how lots […]

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