The Dilovely New Year Questionnaire for 2018

So, my lovelies. Happy New Year or something! It’s only January 16th. It’s a super-reasonable moment to post a 2018 questionnaire completed in time increments of 20 minutes or less over the course of three weeks.

1. What did you do in 2018 that you’d never done before?

Me, Sean: Hiked Niagara Glen Trails in celebration of our 13th anniversary! Also visited some new wineries, had some chocolate icewine shooters, and saw Henry V, WWI trench-style, at the Shaw Festival (first Shakespeare EVER at Shaw! We thought it was well done).

The mighty Niagara River.

Me: Gave my first dose of insulin to my diabetic cat – and a least a couple hundred more since then. Also made vegan cheese. 

Sean: Saw Stephen Fry live! HE WAS AMAZING. Oh, and the diabetic cat thing too.

E, AB: Went to Ripley’s Aquarium, the CN Tower, Storybook Park, the Donkey Sanctuary, and Wild Waterworks. Also, GOT OUR OWN ROOMS!

shark-rippleys-aquarium
At Ripley’s Aquarium.
cn-tower-view
At the CN Tower.

E: Became a Junior – Grade 4, what!

AB: Started Grade 1, and joined Sparks with my BFF!

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions?

Me: I was not exactly a PARAGON of calm in the mornings. However, I did do better after making the resolution. And when school started up in September, I made good on my threat promise to get the kids up earlier… and crazily enough, IT WORKED. We are way more calm in the mornings, because we are way more likely to be running on time.

Sean: I half-hit it… I am making strides with being more present and less on the internet. That internet never tires of wrestling with me, though. Not to mention pesky Apple vs. Google vs. everyone else.

E: My marks, it turns out, tend to be exemplary.

A: I did not get a horse. This still rankles.

3. What is your resolution this year?

Me: To spend more time in meditative quiet.

Sean: To be under 200 pounds, to pass four Open Ed university courses with at least 70% average, and to keep a neat and tidy house.

E: To beat the Ender Dragon in Survival mode, and eat thirty pounds of Life cereal.

A: To be a very good dancer at the big show, and to become the best student in my class. (I might already be the latter.)

4. Did anyone important to you die?

Me (and all): My sweet grandmother, Wina. She got to strike “turning 100” off her bucket list (if she had one), and died peacefully, with family, on New Year’s Eve. We are happy for her to shed her mortal shell, which was not in the best shape after a century of living… But she leaves a hole in our hearts.

Sean: A wonderful cousin who was gone too soon; and a friend and former coworker who was one of the kindest people I’ve ever met.

Also of note (and important in their ways, though not necessarily more so than the above-mentioned dear folk): Kofi Annan, Charles Aznavour, Sister Wendy Beckett, Arthur Black, Anthony Bourdain, Barbara Bush, George HW Bush, Aretha Franklin, Hubert de Givenchy, Stephen Hawking, Ingvar Kamprad, Margo Kidder, Stan Lee, Winnie Madikizela-Mandela, John Mahoney, John McCain, Dolores O’Riordan, Burt Reynolds, Neil Simon, Kate Spade, and Mike “Beard Guy” Taylor.

5. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?

Me: More sleep, and subsequently more energy. Actually I guess the thing I need is discipline – for the going to bed at a good time.

Sean: A competent president for the southerly neighbo(u)rs.

E: A Minecraft Lego jungle hideaway, and a dog.

A: A horse! Again. FOR REAL THIS TIME.

6. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Me: Entering two groups of students (one English, one French) in the CBC Music Class Challenge (thanks for the inspiration, Skye!); facilitating birthday slime-making with ten excited Grade 3 boys (plus AB) and coming out unscathed. Also, I was pretty proud of this hedgehog rock I painted for E. (I was his Secret Friend at Camp.)

painted-hedgehog-rock

Sean: Went on the longest bike ride of my life!

E, A: Learning to swim for real, at Camp! No life jackets!

E: Finally beating the hardest level of Horizon Chase, and producing several (ongoing) literary works, including The Sheep (stay tuned for a sample).

A: Reading – and writing – chapter books.

7. What was your biggest failure?

Me: Failure to check the date on our passports. And realizing they’d expired a scant few weeks earlier and we couldn’t go to North Carolina, only a few days from our scheduled trek. (At least we’d planned to drive so there were no plane tickets. Sighhhh.)

Sean: Failure to lose the weight I wanted to lose.

E: Failure to fulfill my responsibilities without complaining bitterly.

A: Failure to come to terms with the fact that yelling as loud as I can does not get me what I want. One of these days, it’s going to work. It has to.

8. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Me: I suffered my cat’s illness by cleaning up innumerable messes of various types (although Sean cleaned up even more of them, home alone while the rest of us were away).

Sean: Broke my left wrist for the third time in my life. Right before Christmas holidays.

E: The usual grievous injuries ALL THE TIME. I’m in pain 40% of my waking hours.

A: I was pretty impervious this year! (As Mummy knocks ALL the wood.)

9. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

MeSean: Trump; Doug Ford; Japan (reintroducing commercial whaling)… And ALWAYS Nestlé.

E: My sister, when she yells at me.

A: My brother, when he kisses my adorable face without permission.

10. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Me: My Grade 5/6 class, for being calm and awesome, even though they always come to me (for French or Music) at the very end of the day.

Sean: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, for neatly shutting down every GOP troll who tries to invalidate her accomplishments.

E: Our cat’s, when he finally remembered how to pee in the box.*

A: Mine, when I found my Responsibility Button. On special occasions, I turn it on to “Full Power” and then I cooperate on EVERYTHING!

*{Actually, it was getting rid of the litter that seemed to be the key. You see, diabetic cats have more sugar in their pee and it makes the litter sticky… Then they have to whip their paws around to get the litter out of their claws, and then it sticks to the wall and many other random things. Bad for everyone. So we are using puppy pads instead. Painful amount of garbage, but maybe we won’t have to completely replace our floors.}

11. What did you get really excited about?

Me: Several cherished women I know – including both my sisters – getting together with loving partners! YAY!

Sean: Teaching the kids to swim… and of course seeing Stephen Fry. {insert googly-eyed love face}

E: My cactuses! Tall Joe, Short Joe, and Alfred.

A: That time I had the same tattoo as Mummy! And my birthstone ring for my sixth birthday, which is also a lot like Mummy’s… and our matching leggings for Christmas! (We know that matching Mummy will not be on the agenda for too much longer, so Mummy is relishing it while she can.)

dove tattoo

12. What events from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why:

Me: Humboldt Broncos bus crash tragedy, Tham Luang cave rescue… because obviously. Intense human drama (that has undoubtedly already been optioned).

Sean: Doug Ford’s election, because TRAVESTY.

E, A: Our first Junior Camp, because we did so many fun things!

13. What political issue stirred you the most?

Me, Sean: Federal purchase of TransMountain pipeline, NAFTWO, carbon-tax squabbles… and for posterity, one must mention legal weed!

E, A: The sheer number of signs every time there’s an election. All those names bombarding us (which we feel compelled to read aloud whenever we’re driving somewhere)…

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Me: Blogging.

Sean: Even more cycling.

E, A: PLAY DATES.

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Me: Picking up my phone for no good reason.

Sean: Falling off the wagon.

E: Missing ChromeBook time because my class was too noisy.

A: Waiting for play dates.

16. What do you regret?

Me: Please refer to biggest failure.

Sean: Time spent in rabbit holes (except maybe on reddit… those are high-quality rabbit holes).

E: Losing my Lego Minecraft Creeper. Also signing up to be a lunch monitor – those Grade 1 kids are noisy punks, and I don’t even like pizza (which was the reward party for lunch monitors… which might be why I signed up).

A: Not INSISTING upon horse-riding lessons.

17. What decision are you glad you made?

Me: Taking a two-day choral conducting course in the summer. Also, installing an amber lightbulb in E’s reading lamp. It really seems to help him wind down.

Sean: Sticking with The Starch Solution. And the purchase of the Instant Pot – not to mention the Air Fryer!

E: Going to Sherwood Forest day camp with my friends.

A: Getting my hair cut (and donating it).

We were afraid she would regret…
… but she didn’t!

18. How did you spend Christmas?

All: With people we love, all kinds of family. Lots of games, fun drinks, way too many snacks, general cocooning. So very fortunate. (Sean even shared our two weeks off, between shutdown and vacation days! Très exciting.)

19. What song will always remind you of 2018?

Me: Fireflies and The Verge, by Owl City.

Sean: Empire, by Sarah McDougall.

E: ALL the Flood Escape 2 songs, especially Sky Sanctuary.

A: Havana Ooh Na-Na. (By Camila Cabello. AB has never seen this video, BTW. Pretty entertaining! The song actually starts at 2:29.)

20. What was your favorite TV program?

Me: The Good Place, Bojack Horseman, New Girl.

Sean: The Good Place, Bojack Horseman, Voltron.

E: I’m not really into TV. I like to escape floods, build block facilities, and take care of pets and bee swarms on my screen time.

A: Home, Teen Titans Go, Puffin Rock (Mummy’s favourite because those wee British-kid accents are THE BEST).

21. What was the best book you read?

Me: The Marrow Thieves by Cherie Dimaline, Indian Horse by Richard Wagamese.

Sean: Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari.

E: Wild Robot books by Peter Brown, Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan, The Voyage to Magical North by Claire Fayers. 

A: Harry Potter books (which Mummy has been reading to me all year long!) and Fairy Ponies #1 and 2 (by Zanna Davidson) – read between Christmas and New Year’s.

22. What was your favorite film of this year?

Me, Sean: Ant Man & the Wasp was funny and exciting, First Man was gripping and very memorable, Crimes of Grindelwald was gorgeous and entertaining… But honestly, for sheer viewing pleasure, for a movie you’re just glad you went to see… it has to be Paddington 2. 

E, A: Peter Rabbit, Paddington 2.

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Me: 40, got sung to by the whole school (one of my coworkers broadcast the news at an assembly), had dinner with lots of family at a local vegan restaurant (plus sister-made pie options back at home).

Sean: 41, ate vegan pizza and chocolate cake, received and played “Snake Oil”; hilarity ensued.

E: 9, bounced sheep (aka balloons) around the rec room and made slime with 9 of my friends, got my own logo!

Designed by Auntie Beth. We painted it on our faces.

A: 6, had my friends over for refreshments and Auntie Beth’s magical face-painting, got my first LOL Doll and unicorn-poop slime!

24. What new thing would you like to try in 2019?

Me: Dance for Kindness.

Sean: University! Starting with Anthropology, doing great so far.

E: Indoor soccer, since I’m pretty awesome at outdoor soccer.

A: Horse-riding lessons. (Haven’t you been listening?)

25. Whom did you miss?

Always Sebastian.

26. Who was the best new person you met?

All: Uncle Agates! (It’s Alex, but this is his clan monicker, from which he will never henceforth escape.) (We were stoked to have TWO people we newly call Uncle this year!)

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018:

Me: Leave more time than you think you need to get a large group of children to follow a beat and sing in unison. If you think it’s simple… you’re showing your newbie choir conductor pinfeathers.

Sean: Always corroborate your research, and watch out for spilled coolant.

E: Clothes-putting-away is not nearly as hard when you do it every day.

A: Having your own room (once you get used to it) is awesome, because you can have PRIVACY. More or less. For a few minutes, if you really slam your door.

28. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

“Ladies all across the world, listen up, we’re looking for recruits / If you with me, let me see your hands, stand up and salute / Get your killer heels, sneakers, pumps or lace up your boots / Representing all the women, salute!” – Little Mix

***

 

Related Posts:

Tragic Follow-Up to a Five-Year-Old’s Birthday

You know how everything old is new again? How marketers realized that all the kids of the 80s are having their own kids and will pay good money for things that make them go Aw man, I used to have one of those!!

Well, I didn’t, as it happens, have any of these particular items, although I wished I did. (And I think they’re from much earlier than the 80s, given the age of some of the Archie comics we had at home that contained this very ad.)

sea-monkeys-retro-ad
Image via mentalfloss.com

AB was given a Sea Monkey aquarium, along with a little sachet of eggs, some water purifier, and some powdery sea monkey food, for her birthday. It was just like this one, except blue. (Notice that the sea monkey family portrait has not changed.)

sea-monkeys-ocean-zoo

Both kids were pretty excited. We followed all the instructions to the letter, and sure enough, a few days after we’d put the eggs in, there were super-tiny creatures propelling themselves around the aquarium! So cute! They did not have head-crown-thingies that we could discern, and they were nowhere near as nonchalant as the ones in the ad, but still… Cool stuff!!

The big problem was that the instructions don’t go past the first feeding. You’re supposed to wait five days after you put the eggs in there before you feed them, and the instructions make it clear that if you overfeed them THEY WILL SUFFOCATE. But does that mean you feed them every five days subsequently? Or does the schedule change? I turned to the internet for advice, and determined that we should wait at least a few days between feedings. We did our best.

I don’t know what went wrong. Within a week or so, there were only a couple of moving sea monkeys we could find… and then, only one. And then… a still, still tank. There were pathetic moments like when the kids stirred them (like you’re supposed to) and said, “Look, they’re moving around!” or when there was absolutely no movement and she figured, “Let’s just feed them anyway in case they’re only sleeping.”

We were sad that they were dead. Eventually, AB reached the Acceptance stage. This is what she wrote, in tribute.

[That’s pronounced “Sea Monkey-zuh” like when you REALLY want someone to know that it’s plural.]

It was right around Halloween, hence the gravestone savvy. (Actually, there was a rough draft of this picture that had “RCR” on the gravestone – she couldn’t remember what it was supposed to say, and that was her best guess.)

This reads (in the intended order): “To Sea Monkeys. I love you. You died and I did a surprise.”

This picture itself is the “spris”. Surely the sea monkeys are somewhere in the heavenly ether, smiling at their happy likeness.

On a lighter note, you can see that AB has finally reached that stage where she wants to write stuff and isn’t afraid to spell words any which way. Which is AWESOME; I adore this stage. It’s like seeing them learn to talk all over again.

***

P.S.: I meant to add this to the birthday post, but it segues nicely from sea monkeys. Ever since last spring, AB has been obsessed with the monkey bars. We are lucky at the school because they have lots of bars to climb on at different heights – the kind of structures that have been removed from most playgrounds for some reason. AB does all kinds of tricks on a set of parallel bars and I can just see her little muscles working hard.

And when she crosses the ladder-style monkey bars, which she finally learned to do near the end of JK, her determination is palpable. Her eyes get all steely with focus. And her hands, which are still sweet li’l five-year-old hands with dimply knuckles, have gotten all callused on the palms, as if she were moonlighting as a construction worker. It’s pretty awesome altogether.

***


 

Related Posts:

Crossing the Border into the Kids’ Bedroom

Recently, my kids got all excited about creating signage. E was the instigator in this, so these – the six most important things to keep in mind at the border – are his handiwork. They can be found on the shared bedroom door.

This one’s pretty obvious. There’s no smoking in our house, which is easy because none of us is a smoker.

Also pretty obvious – we are Canadians, after all. No firearms likely to be lurking in our sock drawers. Truth be told, we do our best to quash any games that involve guns as well, even completely imaginary ones. Even the sound effects. Too unfunny to be playful on any level, as far as I’m concerned.

They get to have their water bottles. Occasionally dry cereal. Otherwise, it’s a pretty strict policy. (Thanks for noticing, little dude!)

The items shown are Minecraft armour. Sometimes E gets to play with the iPad in his bedroom, but it’s far from being a given – especially during the school week. I think this sign is mostly wishful thinking/hopes for the power of suggestion.

We have learned that it’s very important to take off our soaking wet snow gear AT THE DOOR. Sometimes we even remember the crucial step of hanging it up.

So that’s no bears of the grizzly, polar, or black(/brown) varieties. Beanie, fuzzy, plush and/or cuddly can obtain passports to be admitted.

So watch yourselves, folks. There are no border checkpoints, but I’m sure Big Brother is watching.

***


 

Related Posts:

Dear Kids: For the record, you adore each other.

Our kids are like most siblings: they play together, and they fight together. Sometimes, the screaming is pretty horrifying. And then there are those moments – and those little games and traditions they invent – that warm you right down through to the sub-cockle area of your heart.

{For example, there’s this one funny procedure whenever I give them their vitamins. They have fish-shaped ones and Disney-character-shaped ones – please don’t judge us – and they MUST discuss them every time. They announce the colours they received, and what characters, and what order they eat them in. And then they put up their thumbs in different positions depending on whether their vitamins match or not. I don’t know why or how this came about, but they’re both VERY attached to the ritual.}

Last evening, there was a lot more good and happy play than screaming. (Which I really needed, after three weeks in a row of my Hubbibi on evening shifts.) At one point, they were sitting amicably together in the guest room, having constructed a barrier so each could not see what the other was drawing.

Turns out E was making a present for AB. The next morning there was a note in the advent calendar pocket, which completely turned around a morning that had promised to be very grumpy on her part:

note-to-sister
look in the guest room and you will find a present there

And it led her to this lovely festive drawing…

childrens-christmas-art
Bells are ringing!

And THIS was on the other side.

love-note-from-brother
I can’t even.

I got a bit teary-eyed and all squeezy and kissy with that boy when he showed me. (Which he doesn’t mind as he is a squeezy, kissy type himself. They’re both very affectionate, even with each other, to the point that staff members at their school stop to watch their sweet little goodbyes in the mornings as a pick-me-up.)

And since we’re looking a wee masterpieces, here’s what AB was drawing at the same time.

christmas-drawing
Sort of looks like an underwater scene… But it’s a holiday scene!

The spidery things are suns, and the phallic green-and-brown thing is a Christmas tree (obvs), and the little brown guy is a reindeer, and the swoopy line is a sleigh, and the black dots are buttons on a (non-visible) snowman, and there are also a few flowers and stars sprinkled in there.

So, kids, if you’re reading this and you’ve reached that phase of your lives (because we have to assume it will arrive eventually) where each of you annoys the other ALL THE TIME, please just know that you truly love one another deep down, and you’re a sublime little team when you need to be. We love you kajillions.

Related Posts:

Quotable Moments From My Toddler

IMG_0315

I was reminded by my family last weekend that I haven’t yet shared the weird pearls of toddler philosophy that my daughter has been imparting to us since she learned to talk. Frankly, I haven’t written down nearly enough of them, because life is too busy and my memory for details is shockingly short.

Another reason I haven’t really delved into this is because, at two-and-a-half, AB is so verbal it’s almost scary… and although I’m insanely proud of her, I don’t take credit and I don’t want to sound like a braggy mommy. E was like this too, where complete strangers would hear him talk, ask his age, and express disbelief at his vocabulary – but it’s even more so with her. Of course we’ve encouraged their language in the ways we know how, but I figure it’s at least 90% genetic luck – being linguistically inclined, but also having no hearing issues to interfere.

Sometimes I forget, when I haven’t been with any other 2-year-olds in a while, how advanced her language is. It has all flowed naturally from the context of her learning to say “Hi” aptly at 8 months, and producing sentences like “That’s a ball,” and “Come here baby!” at 13 months. With her, I think it has happened faster because she’s a people person. She wants to relate, and language is an effective tool for that.

Looking at the notes I’ve taken, it makes me smile and sigh to remember the things she was saying a year or more ago.

  • She used to press the button to make music on her doll stroller, bounce her knees and say, “Happy happy happy!” You just had to grin your face off.
  • When she first learned to say Please (or “pease”), she soon changed it to “Pease-awwww,” mimicking the reaction of people hearing her new nicety.
  • She had two words she made up that she used regularly with consistent meaning – and I’m sure it was very frustrating how long we took to figure them out: “Bacca” meant “Give that to me” and “Abodee” meant “Open this.” (Obviously.)
  • I noted her word “Mecumber” once I figured out that when we talked about “cucumber” she thought we were saying “you-cumber” – so if it was hers, it was “me-cumber.”
  • In February of last year, I wrote down her attempt to count just like her big brother: “Two four fie sick weven sick.”
  • Around the same time, she was showing some bossiness, trying to get me to join nap time: “Lie down. Close the eyes.”
  • Sometimes, especially when sleepy, she would gently touch and admire me: “Like a hair, Mama. Like a hand.”
  • She also tended to use words she remembered that were wrong-but-close-enough: she called green beans “green pants,” occasionally substituted “elbow” for “eyebrow,” and (my favourite) referred to the Bambi book as the “Zombie book.”

jerd7
Yup, I guess that’ll do all right.

 

  • Other cute substitutions: “Up-a-size” for exercise (“Mama, looka me up-a-size!”), “wriggly” for regular (“I want wriggly milk”), “olives” for overalls, and “acalulu” for ukulele (she still uses this one sometimes).
  • When we got her undressed for bath, she’d run around saying, “Got my naked on!”
  • Because I so often said to her, “Hi, sweetie,” she began to respond with “Hi seedy!”
  • On March 25th of last year, I noted her saying, as she gathered some items together, “Where’s the boots? Where’s the coffee? Goin’ to work.” (These days she likes to pack her backpack and put on her rubber boots and sit on the hall bench, which naturally transports her to school.)
  • Shortly after that was my first note of her using the word “actually” – “Ackshly it’s MY ball!”
  • She loved to do grown-up things like talk on phones – since almost anything can be a phone – and read Trivial Pursuit cards. (Just not usually in English.)
  • For many months now, she has made a habit of running up to whoever arrives at our door and yelling “SURPRISE!!”
  • She began to express compassion right around 18 months. I will never forget the time I was having a rough evening trying to get the kids to bed by myself – they just kept needing me and not sleeping – and at one point I sat on the edge of the bed and rested my head in my hands in frustration. She looked at me for a moment, then put her little arms around me and said, “I give a big hug, Mama. I see you cry.” I almost fell over.
  • She’s still good at this. She gives hugs and kisses when we’re upset or hurt. And as frustrating as her tantrummy side can be, she is good at thinking it over, and after a short while saying something like, “Mummy, I’m sorry I screamed and hit you.” Without fail, it completely disarms me.
  • Speaking of screaming, last summer I wrote down this charming conversation:

AB: (Screaming about something.)

Mummy: You don’t have to freak out about it…

AB: I AM freaking out!

E (mimicking her): I AM freaking out!

AB (to E): NO! You’re not freaking out, I’m freaking out!!

Then there’s the kind of out-of-the-blue, imaginative conversation she has when she’s getting sleepy and talking in bed, like this one last August:

AB: I wish had a boat.

Mummy: You wish… you had a boat?

AB: Yah. A sailboat. A sailboat.

Mummy: What would you do with your sailboat?

AB: I passed the boat… in the water… and the ducks on the boat, and the geese… in the river.

Mummy: Wow, that’s really cool.

AB: I had snacks with Emi. And I had snacks with Mummy.

Mummy: You had snacks… on the sailboat?

AB: I don’t have a sailboat. I have… a ladder… umm, a donkey-horse… two donkey-horses… and, umm… tomatoes… and, ummmmm… CHEESE! And… a sailboat.

Since last fall, there seems to be nothing she can’t say. I love that she still says things like “I goed to bed,” or “I maked a mess,” because it’s so toddler-y. She also, when reminded to ask nicely, still says “Can-I-may please have some water?” And she went through a long period this past winter where any statement she would make would be followed with a bizarre indication of whom she was addressing, like this: “I need some different pants, Ass-Mummy,” or “Can you read me this book, Ass-Daddy?” It seemed vaguely narrative. We eventually figured out she was meaning to say “ask,” even though the ass-prefix could be used with any sentence, not just questions. She just had it in her mind as necessary.

She also seems to have genetically inherited the language my sisters and I used to speak together (called Oody-Funka). She sings beautiful, unintelligible syllables a lot, and sometimes translates the books she “reads” into Oody-Funka as well. And she uses her elastic toddler-brain to give names to a lot of random things:

  • She once named the fingers of one hand Madeline, Miss Clavel, Matracita, Maca, and Fen;
  • For a short while, she had imaginary babies named Nollie and Kernie;
  • She has told us about her pet sharks named Mixery, Globby, Glicky, and Loast;
  • And she has expanded on what she told us about the school she goes to “under the water in North Canada” to let us know that her teachers are fish, and they are called Packo and Lala.

Here are a few other fun quotables from the last few months:

  • “I’m hugging you to my bones!”
  • “These Os are techally mine.” (I’d just told Sean, after a snack dispute between the kids, that the Cheerios were “technically” not E’s; she clearly got my meaning.)
  • To her big brother: “You can kiss my hand. Not off my hand, in my hand. That’s a good boy.”
  • When I found her curled up in someone’s abandoned snow fort at the toboggan hill: “I’m just sleeping in this hole, in this little rock home.”
  • While drawing a “picture” of me with a baby in my tummy: “She’s crying because her little brother leaved with her mom. Now the baby’s all covered up with grossness.” (Yikes, wha?)
  • When I asked, after she’d been horsing around with Daddy, if she would like some breakfast: “I already ate Daddy’s nose. I had breakfast.”
  • Just last week, at lunch one day, as she made up a random story about a doctor – who was also apparently a driver of some kind: “The driver didn’t do anything. He just sailed away, as faintly as a breeze.” (Where does she get these turns of phrase??)
  • The other day, when I asked her if she was all done on the potty: “I… am… precious.” True, but doesn’t answer my question.
  • And just this week, she started enthusiastically using a word that it took Daddy a while to decipher: hypothesis. Eventually he gleaned that she’d gotten the word from the Dinosaur Train show.

She told him, “Daddy, I have another hypothesis.”

“Oh, really? What’s your hypothesis?”

“Umm… It’s in the bathtub.”

IMG_0319

***


 

[ad name=”Med Rec”]

***

Related Posts:

Possibly The Randomest Book You’ll Ever Read

On one of E’s earlier works, Daddy helped him with a short author bio in which it was conveyed that E’s goal is to make 100 books.

He is barrelling toward this goal, let me tell you. He’s kind of obsessed with my stapler.

Here’s a creation from this past week. I love how he’s unencumbered by the fetters of plot, theme, or common threads of any kind, swinging freely between the physical and the metaphysical.

IMG_0279
This is the title page. He’s really into stormy weather patterns right now. I’m pretty sure the circular one at the bottom is a typhoon.

IMG_0280
Only one of each – no need for overkill.

IMG_0281
These names come from his class list, hence the abundance of appropriate vowels.

IMG_0282
He makes jump tracks just like this. You’ll notice that spoilers are very important to him – as they are, verily, unto the world.

IMG_0283
This looks like he doesn’t understand food groups, but he’s actually been talking quite knowledgeably about them recently. Apparently the colour-code is the critical part.

IMG_0284
You have to have a Stuffies page.

IMG_0285
And of course you DOUBLE HAVE TO have a Dragons page.

IMG_0286
Spoiler alert… this Colours page might just lead to a spinoff book.

IMG_0287
I’ve always loved his plane drawings beyond all description.

IMG_0288
And the heart-pounding dénouement: CANDIES!

***


 

[ad name=”Med Rec”]

***

 

Related Posts:

Kindergarten Quotables Variety Pack

I realize it’s been ages since I talked about the cute stuff my kids say, and it’s not because they don’t say cute things.

Okay, sometimes it’s because they don’t say cute things. At five and two years old, respectively, my son and daughter both have a tendency to freak out about seemingly minor incidents, and they both spend quite a bit of time screaming. This doesn’t leave quite as many opportunities in their schedules for adorable sound bites.

But! These little gems do still turn up. And I could argue it’s even more important to remember them when they’re not as common.

E with the class bear
E has learned to play Pokémon, with rules and everything. You should hear the lingo he and Daddy toss around.

These are E-quotes, from approximately the past year – so he was four years old for some of them (he would want you to know that). I’ve organized them by theme, for your convenience.

Big New Words To Try Out:

  • “There aren’t a lot of places to hide in this particular house.”
  • “I distinctly don’t want square crackers… I specifically said circle crackers.”
  • “The orange juice is essentially yellow.”
  • “This is a really unusual contraption.”
  • “Is it just me, or am I disintegrating?” (NO IDEA where he got that word.)
  • “Marcia has a whole bunch of Play Doh colours, and I’m assuming they all came together.”
  • “A millimeter isn’t even a thing. I made it up.”
  • “I hurt so much of myself! I hurt both my toes and my philtrum!”
  • “You have no idea how mad I am!! I’m googleplex hundred thousand mad.” (As you can probably tell, sometimes we teach him the more obscure words just ’cause it’s fun to hear him say them.)
  • “My finger deflected it into my mouth.”
  • “I’m really good at rhyming. I’m pretty good at homonyms – well, I haven’t mastered homonyms yet… but I have mastered snapping!” This is true. He was in the car, demonstrating from his booster seat. Yes, he does know what a homonym is. And he can snap his fingers like a boss.

Turns Of Phrase That Are Pure E:

  • The morning after receiving some new Lego, seeing the mess he’d made: “Well, it’s another Lego excitement day.”
  • Asking the name of his grandparents’ street: “That’s something my brain lost sight of. I suddenly didn’t know it.”
  • As I explained how we were going to tackle cleaning his room: “You mean, all this great big bellowing mess will be cleaned up?”
  • As Daddy reiterated our policy (if a parent cleans up a toy mess without E’s help, that parent gets to keep said toy): “Daddy! Just lose that feeling!”

Regarding His Little Sister:

  • On seeing baby AB’s arm flailing around: “Maybe she’s like an antenna.”
  • In a passionate defense when we took away something AB was destroying: “DON’T! RUIN! MY SISTER’S! FUN!!!”
  • After she’d learned to whack him when he was getting in her space: “Biting me isn’t her only defense.”
  • After I’d asked him to keep an eye on her while I went to the bathroom, then found him doing something completely else: “I’m keeping a very slight eye on her.”
  • At a predictably nose-running moment: “I think her weapon is snot.”

Regarding His Brother/Potential Brother:

E: Mummy, when are you going to be pregnant? I want another Sebastian. I don’t even know what he looked like.

Mummy: Umm… I’m not sure if I will be pregnant again, sweetie. And if I did get pregnant, we can’t choose whether we have a boy or a girl.

E: Can you control whether you’re pregnant?

Mummy (mentally squirming a little): Well… yes. It has to do with what time of the month it is… and your activities.

E: Can we pick a boy or girl if we decide NOW?

Regarding His Mom:

  • When I was making my own lunch instead of attending to his every whim: “Mommies don’t serve themselves. They serve other people than themselves.”
  • One of the times E was freaking out about having to pee really bad, in response to my dry comment, “Maybe if you cry enough tears, you won’t have to pee so much,” he shrieked: “MUMMEE! Don’t say random things!!!!” (Parents, you know sometimes you have to say things just to amuse yourself. But those comments can rebound on you.)
  • While trying to control his world: “Mummy, tomorrow I want you to be the one to pick me up from the bus, okay? Just keep that in mind.”
  • When I explained that when you have a sleepover at a friend’s house, your parents don’t come with you, and that’s part of why it’s fun: “But, if you weren’t there, it wouldn’t BE any fun!” (Awww. <3)

Deep Thoughts and Life Philosophy:

  • “I just need so much help, in this world. I want to move to a different planet. This one is just too tricky.”
  • “Does snot have protein? Does it have veggies?” (Hmmm. What IS the nutritional content of snot?)
  • “Does the world have a stem? Can you slice the world?”
  • “There’s almost always poop in your body, and one mode is saveable, but the other is unsaveable.”
  • When I explained that his balloon animal would not last very long: “So… balloon animals are just like paper airplanes and flowers and piñatas.”
  • After I’d explained some of the traditions associated with St. Patrick’s Day: “But Mummy – what if my teacher makes me drink beer??”
  • Discussing the older kids on the playground, when E was in JK: “For some reason, they think I’m a LITTLE kid!”

He still knocks my socks off sometimes with the things he says.

One night, just a few weeks ago, as we were tidying up his room before bed, he started reminiscing about his surfin’ days. Except he pronounced it “suhhfin’ dehhs,” which I guess is his surfer accent. To be clear, he’s never surfed, or even been close to a real live surfer, ever. But he maintained the accent and the patter for several minutes, completely deadpan. (I wish I could have got footage, but I was afraid to break the spell.)

As I giggled, I said, “I love you, buddy.” His rejoinder was, “I luv yeh teh, Mummeh… almost as much as I luv meh suhhfin’ dehhs.”

Then, last week, we played chess on the snow day. He had been playing chess for approximately two days, and here he was, saying things like, “I’m really putting you in a pickle here, Mummy!” and “I know the knight’s protecting the queen, so I’m not too worried about her,” and “You’re setting up a good pawn structure there.” Wha??

Crazy, awesome kid.

Next episode: Kid Quotables, Toddler Version.

***


 

[ad name=”Med Rec”]

Related Posts:

A Smiley Video for a Happy Frozen Friday

My kids love the movie “Frozen.” Like almost all kids. And I’m not ashamed to say that I also love it; I’ve probably seen it a dozen times and I could still cry every time, if I let myself. I will most likely go on about the reasons why another time.

For now, here’s two-year-old AB’s side of a (highly edited) conversation we had in November about the plot of Frozen. If you’ve seen the movie, you’ll probably recognize a concept or a direct quote here and there. You may also notice some outright fallacies. If you haven’t seen the movie – don’t worry! This information doesn’t make enough sense to contain spoilers.

Mostly, I just love her sense of drama. I wish you could see her, when E closes his bedroom door – she’ll go knock and sing the whole first verse of “Do You Want to Build a Snowman,” complete with wistful “Okay, bye…” at the end. Or even better, the two of them do an inspiring version of “For The First Time In Forever” – with many bits missing, but the passion is there.

Anyway, here’s this. I hope it makes you smile. Happy Friday!

***


 

[ad name=”Med Rec”]

***

Related Posts:

NaBloPoMo Meets 100 Happy Days – Day 1

{Hi everyone! This is yesterday’s post. It was honestly ready to go on the appropriate day, but I have been having major technical difficulties with my blog. So I’m going to sneakily attempt back-publishing it – here’s hoping this silly post will actually post. And there will be Halloween photos – but the technical difficulties extended even unto those, so they will be unfashionably late.}

NaBloPoMo is here! And at this stage of my life, the prospect of writing a real post every day is really daunting. So, inspired by some of my friends, I’ve decided to do 100 Happy Days and practice my pithiness.

For today, I thought you’d like to see this thing that made me grin hugely, courtesy of my charming five-year-old.

IMG_7313
The Amazing Adventures of Super Dad

IMG_7314
Chapter 1: Flying. Once upon a time there was a Super Dad.

IMG_7315
He was flying happily along when he saw a giant monster.

IMG_7316
Chapter 2: A Monster. So he tried to fly away but it was too late. The monster had already got him. “I’m hungry.”

IMG_7317
Chapter 3: The Amazing Adventure. Today Super Dad was going on a adventure.

20141101-191222-69142016.jpg
The End.

***


 

[ad name=”Med Rec”]

***

Related Posts:

A Story About Today

Okay. This story is not actually about today.

Last Friday, my mother-in-law – one of the most generous people I know – came to babysit, and got more than she bargained for. She came on the arranged day, even though she knew that Baby AB had woken up with a stomach bug of some kind and had already puked three times by the time I called her.

Poor E also had a cough that sounded like a beer bottle barking (that would make sense if you’d heard it, I swear), and I didn’t know how I was going to get him to school with a puking baby anyway… so he stayed home too.

I was stressed when I left for work, having spent most of the morning doing laundry and disinfecting various parts of the house that might have been touched by puke.

When I came home, I was relieved to find that AB had napped, woken up happy, and then eaten a snack and kept it down! (Stomach bugs give me total anxiety, no matter who has them.)

Also, during said nap, E and Grandma J had made a book together, entitled “Today.” The original is about 4 x 5 cm, written by Grandma J and illustrated by E. It goes like this:

photo 1
Today A(****) got sick. She started throwing up.

photo 2
Today I’m going to blow bubbles

IMG_5324
and have a bike ride.

IMG_5325
I stayed home from school today.

IMG_5326
We might decorate our Christmas tree today.

IMG_5327
Grandma and I had fun!

The end.

It’s so sweet and sad that he thought he might bike ride and blow bubbles – total summer activities. The picture of Baby AB throwing up made me laugh the hardest, though – especially because I fretted about it so much while it was happening.

Since the book was produced, we had a relatively un-sick weekend – and then E and Daddy have both had some stomach troubles since then. Go figure. I hope I’m not next (GO teacher immunity GO!!).

And that about sums it up.

***


 

Related Posts: