as a mom

As we all know, moms and dads are people with lots of layers and hats and interests other than their parental ones – but being a parent is a huge part of a person’s life, and teaches us a lot about ourselves. I think it requires us to re-invent our philosophies constantly, so can never be labelled in black-and-white… but here’s an overview of parenting in the Dilovely household, for now.

• We are the parents of two sons: E was born healthy as a horse, eleven days late, in June 2009; Sebastian was stillborn five weeks before his due date in July 2011. We love them both to the moon and back.
• We are “attachment” parents in many ways: we co-sleep, we breastfed our first son (well, I did), we wore him when he was a baby pretty regularly, we still cover him with kisses every day (for as long as he lets us).
• Similarly, we’re pretty “natural” types: I home-made E’s first solid foods (which were vegetarian), we used cloth diapers (and we heart-heart-heart our diaper service!), and we’ve done a watered-down version of EC (elimination communication) - which has made toilet training a very smooth transition.
• To supplement our Dr. William Sears-style tendencies, we have used a lot of Tracy Hogg (The Baby Whisperer)’s methods. We consistently swaddled our baby to get him ready to sleep, and used Tracy’s methods to help him learn to fall asleep on his own. Between the family bed and the baby whisperer, we have avoided any “crying it out”, which is a huge relief for me.
• Of course, we try to make the parenting decisions we think best, but that doesn’t mean we don’t respect parents whose philosophies differ greatly from ours. I respect all parents who love their kids to pieces, who make considered choices to keep their children healthy and safe, and who recognize that as parents, they need to provide boundaries for their children.
• As a teacher, I know children learn to manipulate at a very young age – they know exactly what they can get away with, and with whom. I hope I shall have the fortitude to set reasonable boundaries and expectations for my child(ren), to give tough love when necessary… and especially, to be consistent, while giving as much love as humanly possible.