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Antique Children’s Book, Part 1: Kitty, Polly Parrot, and Cubby Bear

Posted on November 21st, 2016

We’re taking a break from Nerdy Mom for today, to introduce you to the Antique Children’s Book my parents found among their inherited things. It is surmised to be a book that belonged to my mom’s dad when he was a child, so it’s getting on towards a hundred years old. And it’s more than a hundred percent bizarre.

This is the title: Animal Cutes.

antique children's animal book

Animal Cutes, for the animal at heart.

They can’t say “Cute Animals” because I’m afraid these animals just are not. That’s in spite of the eye roll I’m sure this kitty thought would be enchanting, along with its darling checkered jacket and blue bow. Then again, perhaps that bow is just tied way too tight, and this is actually a portrait of asphyxiation. Kinda like flowery children’s songs that are actually about the plague.

antique children's animal book parrot

Pretty Polly PARROT, perched at rest, Says “Hurry up and bring me my breakfast.”

This parrot looks jolly Scottish in the tam-o’-shanter and vest, but as above, I’m not sure “pretty” is in the cards for Polly. “Haggard” and “oppressed” come to mind more easily. She’s out of her cage but still chained to her perch, waiting for the right moment to snap that chain with her beak and make her getaway. “Breakfast” is the code word. It’s too bad she was ill-advised on the outfit, since Scots parrots are incongruous in any crowd.

antique children's book cubby bear

Cubby BEAR, all dressed in colors gay, Goes to Cubtown, in the woods, to play.

Okay, maybe Cubby is kinda cute. Those cheerful honeybee stripes… the festive tambourine… The look that says, “Bye, Mom! I’m off to the woods, nothing but gaily gadding about!” Mama Bear thinks it’s a picnic. Little does she know that Cubtown is a cult, and they’ve just set the forest on fire. And you don’t want to know what they do with those tambourines.

Turns out I’m still nerdy. Whadaya know. NaBloPoMo Day 7, signing off.

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3 Responses to “Antique Children’s Book, Part 1: Kitty, Polly Parrot, and Cubby Bear”

  1. Auntie CL
    21 November, 2016 at 11:34 pm

    Diana, I’m shocked at your cynicism.
    Those disproportionate little animals dressed in bizarre and inexplicable adaptations of human clothing doing anthropomorphic things described in questionable rhyme aren’t cute to you?
    ok, ok. not to me, either.
    one wonders at the motivation to preserve this particular artifact…

    • dilovelyadmin
      26 November, 2016 at 4:27 pm

      Hee hee.

  2. 21 November, 2016 at 11:54 pm

    Well said, Auntie CL! Thought much the same thing myself.

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This entry was posted on Monday, November 21st, 2016 at 11:16 pm and is filed under Humanitrivia, Miscelliterature. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

 
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