Kindergarten Quotables: Smooth Operator

{Agh, “Preschooleristics” no longer applies to my boy! Although, admittedly, a few of these are from the pre-school days.}

My little guy is a smoothie in many ways.

The Salesman

Once when we made cookies this summer, E had one left over. I suggested he put it in a container to keep it from getting stale. The next day he saw that cookie he’d carefully preserved, and winningly offered it to me:

“Hey, Mama. There’s a fine fresh cookie, that if you would like it, I would certainly give it to you.”

The Cover-Upper

While playing with water in the sink, trying to gloss over the fact that he’d gotten the hand towel wet “accidentally” for a second time:

“Mama, I’m absolutely not going to put this towel in the water again.”

The Butter-Upper

Before dinner, when he was hoping for a certain favourite food and discovered I’d already put it on his plate – a surge of gratitude followed quickly by reality:

“You’re the greatest! Mommy ever! ‘Cause you do everything I tell you to… usually… Sometimes.”

The Game Show Host

When we play Trivial (Trevor) Pursuit, we ask E spur-of-the-moment kid-style multiple-choice questions so he’s part of the game. Sometimes he asks us his own questions too, such as:

“When did E turn three in eighty-thirty-nine? Was it after Christmas, before Halloween, or in the middle of Valentine’s Day?”

The Shyster

He had found our container with a couple dozen chocolate Mini-Eggs in it, and asked if he could have one. I said (interested to see if I could trust him), “Sure, you can have one. Thank you for asking so nicely.” I returned a few minutes later to find the number greatly depleted. I said, “Hey, bud. That looks like you had way more than just one.”

“Oh, no, Mummy. I meant one layer.”

The Charmer

At the end of a visit from Skye and baby G last spring, E blew them some kisses, and then invented a blowable hug as well. It’s a gesture with both hands touching his chest and then reaching out like you would with a kiss. It’s pretty fantastic. It’s come into regular usage in our household.

The Casanova

Like most kids, E is typically short-winded when asked “What did you do at school today?” But one day he offered, “We had a kissing competition.”

“Oh? Who were you kissing?” (He told us her name but it has been omitted to protect her privacy.) “How does that work? Is it a race?”

“You’re just kissing and kissing and kissing.”

“Wow. So, how do you know who won?”

“We weren’t even done when recess was over.”

Yikes. I hope it was all consensual. He did mention that the girl in question didn’t want to hang out with him later in the week.

But there is something to be said for his charisma. Here’s a little visual of his power over (very small) women:

This is not the one from the kissing competition. This was love-at-first-roll-in-the-grass (literal) at the Cape Cod wedding. Happily, the little lady was not one to waste time being coy. This relationship ran the gamut from hand-holding to steamrolling to wrestling.

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