The Anatomy of a Mum-Mum

hot kid baby mum-mum
Simple teething cracker? Not exactly.

Baby Mum-Mums. For parents of teething babies, they are saviour and anathema at once.

How do they work? No one knows exactly. I am baffled, myself.

They are delicate enough to be crushed to smithereens in your purse (preferably inside the package).

They yield appropriately to the gentle crocodile-fierce pressure of a teething baby’s jaws.

Mixed with infant saliva, they turn to bite-sized pieces of magical cement. If your baby hasn’t yet mastered grasping, no matter. Baby Mum-Mums will affix themselves conveniently to your baby’s palm, where she can lick away at them over the coming days. They will handily store themselves on her bib as well, not to mention in her lap, armpits, neck-creases, and any other nooks she might possess.

Their revolutionary consistency means that a simple shower of Mum-Mum crumbs, landing, for example, in a light patina of drool on your baby’s tray, transforms into a rugged surface you can use to sand down your deck or car.

Give your baby a Mum-Mum today! You’ll see: once glued, these seemingly simple “rusks” WILL NOT YIELD. Amazingly, even left to soak, you will still need a chisel to remove them! You’ve never seen such staying power.

Added bonus: they may just keep your child happy for several minutes when you most need her to be quiet. Put a few individually-wrapped 2-packs in your purse for emergencies. Whether your baby is fussing or the heel just came off your shoe, Baby Mum-Mums have got you covered!

baby A with mum-mum
Mmmmmm.

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5 thoughts on “The Anatomy of a Mum-Mum

  1. Amy says:

    Rowan was eating one as I read this. She now needs a bath as she mashed them in her hair and it’s all stuck together.

  2. Mama says:

    When I’VE been left to soak, I usually can’t hold a chisel very successfully, so I can see how hard this must be…

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