Comments on: Talking about death with a preschooler

By: diblog

diblog — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 21:06:37 +0000

Thanks, Carrie. Your words mean a lot… after all, isn’t it just one of the hardest things, having confidence that you’re doing a good job as a parent, especially at the more difficult moments?

By: diblog

diblog — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 21:04:37 +0000

Me too, Shannon… I don’t think I realized how much he really thinks about it, and wishes things were different.

By: diblog

diblog — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 21:03:11 +0000

Emi, I really like the thought that he’s in everything, like you say. Thanks for being part of E’s learning process. <3 <3

By: diblog

diblog — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 20:59:43 +0000

Poor little bear… He’s clearly a really sweet and sensitive soul as well. As he gets older, have there been questions you didn’t know how to answer? I feel sure we haven’t dealt with the hardest parts yet…

By: Quinn

Quinn — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 15:53:17 +0000

oh my. so sad, so hard. you are amazing parents, and E is very lucky and loved.

By: emerge

emerge — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 13:18:19 +0000

E has sometimes asked me about my necklace too, “Is Sebastogen in there?” – my dark glass one with the swirl in it. It does look like a spirit, pretty much. But I’ve said no. Though actually I wonder… it’s sort of like he’s in EVERYthing. Including E. And I don’t think you need to worry about him learning the facts; he’ll learn them eventually and in the meantime explaining it won’t change the situation or his understanding of it. Your feelings about S are the most important part of it, and I think you’re giving him a good, -safe- impression of that when necessary.

I had the same experience as you, Di, with the word “stillborn.” I don’t know if it was from a show or just someone saying it, but there’s the moment when a word that you thought meant something GOOD turns out to mean that in fact it’s all bad… It’s a hard moment.

By: lola

lola — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 12:46:51 +0000

me five. *sniff, sniff*

death sure is tricky to talk about with kids. sounds like you guys have been honest, without saying too much. it is tricky to walk that fine line.

the only time we have had to really talk about death was when we had to put our dog down. my bear was just three when it happened, and to this day he still talks about death almost weekly. he tells me he misses roo and wishes they could play together. now that he is 4.5 yrs his questions about death are slightly more complicated than when he was three.

obviously losing a brother is not the same as losing a pet, but explaining the end of life, anyone’s life, to a child is difficult. bear killed a fly the other week and was devastated, because he had ended a life. that was a tricky conversation too.

thanks for sharing!

By: Carrie

Carrie — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 03:35:25 +0000

Me Four…..
Gotta love that little Man (and he really is !)
I think you are doing such a remarkable job explaining such a hard topic to someone so sensitive, intuitive and young. M hasn’t had any close-to-home encounters yet, so I haven’t been there. God Forbid I have to go there anytime soon, but should I, I know where I am coming back to for hints and help!thanks Di

By: Shannon

Shannon — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 03:23:52 +0000

Oh my goodness… that last little conversation broke my heart.

By: diblog

diblog — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 02:35:30 +0000

Auntie, did you stop wishing because you knew there was a “big” brother somewhere out there for you? Or because the knowledge made you look at things differently?

I’m really sorry to hear about your friend. What an awful shock.