Where I find I can’t organize my brain to write a blog post

I am taking a page from Daddy Runs a Lot, who titles all his posts starting with “Where I…”, because this way, I don’t have to be pithy. Also, I am taking a page from my erstwhile blogself, who used to write about whatever came to mind without trying to organize or craft or incorporate glints of awesomeness. I’m too pregnant and too humid and too noodley to be truly coherent. Cohesive? One of those.

Back to one of the reasons I love blogging: bullet list.

• I want to thank you, once again, for being wonderful. You make me wonder why on earth I was nervous about sharing my lullaby with you. You honoured me by listening. Merci.
• On the same topic, I would like to say that artists can be super-lovely. I contacted all the living artists I could track down whose work I used (turned out to be all but one) to ask if it was okay that I used their art to accompany my song. I heard back from one only a few hours later – Yury Salko, of the Ukraine, currently living in Rome. He wrote me the most delightful email which I wish I could just copy for you here, so adorable was his English. It’s full of exclamation points and quirky expressions. Not only did this kind man give me his blessing to use the image of his painting Lullaby (below – incidentally, it won the Golden Palm in Germany), he said, “Remarkably another event!” and went on to tell me that he had learned he’d become a grandfather only minutes before receiving my message, and that the name of his daughter-in-law who had just given birth… is Diana. Reason #378 that the internet ROCKS: random, fantastic human connections that could never exist without it.

• The next day, I also heard from Catt Kyriacou, painter of SoulArt, who is responsible for one of the images I really needed most, Little Lost Soul Angel Baby (below). Her message was full of warmth and little hearts – and she even sent me another message later to tell me that she has a print in her bedroom of the Klimt painting I used – one of those images we mamas can all relate to.

• I have sung the song to E quite a few times. He likes it. The other night, he actually sang it with me, a little bit. It was the best. thing. ever. He has no sense of tuning, but his floaty little voice is so sweet I can hardly stand it, especially on “Your heart and my heart are always together.” (I also loved that instead of “Rest in your mama’s love” he used “your mama’s lap”. Makes total sense.) These are the moments I wish I could keep in a box to re-experience later… since I can hardly believe I get to have them now.
• I guess this isn’t exactly a news flash… but it has been a really intense summer so far. Our Sebastian anniversary was emotional, of course, and my grandmother’s death, but there have been other situations of heartbreak and disconnection for people I love dearly as well… and some butt-kicking heat/humidity… and then there’s sending subliminal love to all those parents and families who have lost loved ones to bullets in the last month, for no good reason.
• Speaking of that, I am wondering (like everyone else on the continent?) WTF is with all these people who feel the need to shoot other people they may or may not know, all over Toronto, Colorado, wherever. Looking back at what I wrote after the Eaton Centre shooting, I’d like to say the same thing to every perpetrator. In Toronto at least, there’s a lot of talk about what social supports are needed to help youth stay out of trouble – and I absolutely agree. There are many constructive things we should be doing to prevent violent crime. And I know that for some reason, most boys have a built-in fascination with guns (including my own boy, despite our best efforts – MOTL), which doesn’t help matters. AND, the fact remains: shooting people is a f***ing stupid thing to do. Makes me very mad.
• Despite all this intensity, I am far from complaining about my life right now. E’s baby sister is doing really well so far, and that makes everything better. At the last ultrasound (29 weeks), she scored 8/8 on her biophysical profile. Lots of babies don’t get perfect at that stage, because they are not yet practicing “breathing” (moving the diaphragm), but I guess this kid is an overachiever. 🙂
• Plus – she is a KICKER. Holy cow. I never have the chance to get nervous that she’s too still.
• Her only problem is, last we knew for sure, she’s head-up. Head sticking in the same place Sebastian’s head was for six weeks – so it hurts (in more ways than one). But she has lots of fluid, so I’m still optimistic she can flip around easily enough. There should be plenty of time.
• Next month, we have another ECG for her. I am really hoping (obviously) that everything will be completely normal, and our care will be transferred back to our midwives… and everything will be simple and go perfectly. Although there is still this worrisome idea that Baby will want to be late like E was – and she will not be allowed to be late. Once again, induction looms for Dilovely. Sigh. It would be so great NOT to be induced for once.
• For you locals: let’s keep our fingers crossed that we get some real rain (as they’re saying we might) – we need it! Wait… I hear raindrops…

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