Conversations with a Toddler about Gestation

A few weeks ago at dinner, E asked about the prenatal vitamins I was taking. I told him about how the baby can’t eat its own food the way he does, so it shares mine. He announced – not for the first time – that he was also with child.

E: I have a baby in my belly, too. She needs to eat my food.

Mama (noting the “she”, when last time it was a “he”): Is your baby a girl, today?

E: No, it’s a boy.

Mama: What’s his name?

E: I already told you, it’s Daffodil See-Too.

(No, he hadn’t already told us.)

Mama: His name is… Daffodil See-Too??

Daddy: Wow, that’s a wonderful name! Where did you get that name?

E (as if it were the most obvious thing ever): It’s a Spanish word.

Mama (thinking she gets it): Ohhh, the baby’s name is from Diego?

E: It’s not a baby, it’s a boy.

Mama (chuckling): Oh, so it’s just going to be born a full-grown boy.

E, to Daddy: Do you have a baby?

Daddy (ruefully patting stomach): No… it just looks like I do.

Mama: Actually, the baby in here is partly Daddy’s, so he is having a baby.

Daddy (glancing at his empty Corona bottle): Daddy’s baby’s name is… Cerveceria. That’s a Spanish word too.

***

Update: E has, since this conversation, decided on another name for his baby, and this one has stuck for over a week: Tree Shepard.

***

During a discussion about Mama’s baby bump, and whether it’s a boy or a girl in there:

Mama: If you have a sister, what should her name be?

E (thinks for a moment): Biden. Nn. (After a pause) Is the baby happy?

Mama (all heartwarmed that he would ask such a sweet question): Yes, of course, it’s very comfy in there.

E (smacking Mama’s belly): Now is she angry?

***

E's face, sketch-style

Papa took this photo and had fun tweaking it in various ways. This is the most beautiful version. (Slightly less beautiful, but no less endearing, is the one where he pasted E’s head onto the body of his stuffed sloth.)

***

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4 thoughts on “Conversations with a Toddler about Gestation

  1. Mama says:

    Can you (or Papa) enlarge and print that picture for your own “rogues gallery”?

    Thought for a minute that E was channeling some higher power re the gender of the baby… oh, well – I guess he’s in the same spot we’re all in about that!

  2. Erin T says:

    Great Spanish and cold-hearted logic from E and great responses from Dad! I think Daffodil See-Too is considerably less weird than some of the names our patients on the unit give their real babies…

    Also, this reminds me of a story my mom tells: when I’d just turned three, I announced from the back seat while my mom was driving that I knew how babies were made. She answered, nonchalantly to cover her nervousness: “Oh yes?” I explained they grew in your stomach proper, with the food, and then came out your belly button. She said: “Wow, you’re such a big girl! Where did you learn that?” I shrugged modestly and said: “Well… I read a lot.”

    • diblog says:

      Erin, so true… our baby name book had a whole list of star-baby names, and they’re the weirdest (Fifi Trixiebelle, Audio Science, what have you).

      That’s a great anecdote!! I bet you DID read a lot. A humble little smartie, even then.

  3. emerge says:

    Awesome story, Erin 🙂

    but CERVECERIA??? Where did he get that – Kris? Because I am guessing it is NOT a word from Diego (I hope, anyway!).

    The first time I heard Tree Shepard it was put in the form of Shepard Tree, and it was in the context of a conversation where he was asking me things like “What’s your middle name?” and “What’s your full name?” which I had no idea where he had heard before. He heard that one enough that I guess it stuck.

    The Tree part of it has come up in other contexts too: “Where do you want to go when we get downtown?” “Um, Tree.” “A store called Tree?” “Yes.” “What do they sell there?” “Foam.” There is also a movie/tv show named Tree which we have not yet located.

    I trust the baby is not angry yet. And that E will get over that experiment by the time s/he comes out! Even though it made us all laughhhh, oh dear.

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