Dear New Neighbours,
I just wanted to let you know what a privilege it is to share our neighbourhood with you. As your facing neighbours, we feel especially lucky.
When you first moved in a few weeks ago, we though, Hurray! These kids will help keep us young! And you wasted no time in seeing to it: we got lessons in Topfortyology that very weekend. In your determination to be thorough, you played your music for twelve hours straight, and you made sure it was loud enough to reach from your living room to our backyard. That’s dedication.
By now, we know how much our weekends are to be enriched by your presence. We know that for as long as the weather holds, the street will be filled with the youthful joy you and your friends bring to your get-togethers, complete with colourful vocabulary for my son to learn, inspirational news about your capacity for vodka, and whimsical barking noises designed to make the dogs of our neighbourhood feel included. And the fact that your commitment extends even unto gracing our breakfast not once, but twice this weekend with the hearty sounds of retching into your flowerbeds, well… there are no words.
For the example you set for our children… for the honour you do your parents who sent you to school… for the respect you show your forebears who made the University what it is today… for the reminder that bedtime is just a human construct that fetters our fulfillment… for the way you tipped the balance to transform our boring family neighbourhood into an exciting new place we hardly recognize… and for the motivation you provide to your peers who might otherwise lead a quiet, lacklustre life of studiousness – and whose reputation you glorify by association… THANK YOU.
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Oh Di!! I do love your blog so!!!
Diana, do I sense sarcasm? It shocks me! Maybe you are just feeling a little left out and want to join one of their parties? Call me!
Yes Diana – shall we have a party at your house and give them a run for their money?? lol (Thank you for the chuckle, and the reminder of how very happy/lucky I am that I am not working “frosh week” or any weekend this month!)
I’m all for a rival party at your house, Di (as Carrie suggests). You just let us know when and we will “school” those youngin’s… oh wait, I’m too old to drink so much that I retch in the flower beds. Here’s hoping they decide to move!
Hm. Whom shall I contact at the University to suggest they read your blog?
Well, if you do go ahead and have that counter-party, i hope you knock them all for a loop playing rowdy games like the dictionary game and adverbs and scrabble! woooweee!
Not to call the university (although they all SHOULD read Di’s blog, for so many reasons). To call the local police and report a disturbance – every single time the disturbance occurs – then document each occurrence yourself. People who are constantly drunk and/or oblivious to other types of lifestyles and the rights of their fellow Guelphites need schooling of a very specific sort.
Hear, hear, Beth…or today I should say, “Arrrrr!”