Just write. See what happens.

A different kind of blog

Posted on July 14th, 2011

It looks like my blog will have a different tone for a while, and serve a different purpose.

One week ago was the last evening that my baby Sebastian, still in my womb, was alive. On Friday morning, sometime between 9 and 10, his heart stopped beating.

I knew from that moment that I would need to write my way through this, and this blog has mostly replaced my own journal as my outlet. I know I’m going to have to go back to the beginning of this surreal, painful week, and start from there. I’m guessing it probably won’t be very much fun to read for a while. You don’t have to. Though as always, I’m honoured if you do.

For tonight, I’m going to let Hawksley speak for me. I never fully understood what he meant by “the darkness defines where the light is” – until now.

Oh you delicate heart
Sometimes it feels hard to live
The rain keeps on falling so hard
I forgot that I had some to give

Oh you delicate heart
Remind all the guards on your hill
That a love that comes by might be true
As true as the mountains are still

And I’m sure
The darkness defines where the light is
And takes all our prayers
Oh but
You will still be true

Oh you delicate heart
There’s deep enough wells for our tears
When we break ourselves carelessly
Through
A tumbling down of our fears

***

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6 Responses to “A different kind of blog”

  1. 14 July, 2011 at 8:43 pm

    I will laugh with you
    I will cry with you

  2. Amanda
    14 July, 2011 at 8:50 pm

    blog away Diana and it is I who will be honored to go along on this journey with you. I hope it helps even a tiny bit to share your thoughts and feelings here. It goes without saying I am sure, but we love you and are deeply sorry for the loss your family has experienced.

  3. Mr. A.
    14 July, 2011 at 8:52 pm

    I’m not going anywhere. ­čÖé

  4. Darci
    14 July, 2011 at 10:02 pm

    We are sisters by marriage, and now, sadly, we are also sisters in pain and loss. I’m proud of your strength, and your weakness.. the two will learn to co-habitate within you in peace; eventually.
    Hugs, love and understanding heading your way.

  5. Suze Corte
    15 July, 2011 at 1:44 am

    a tumbling down of our tears………..

  6. Tova
    15 July, 2011 at 7:41 am

    Your grief and pain are real. And so you must express it. It is a journey, and you have so many that are there behind you, ready to support, catch or just be there for you.
    We are all so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, July 14th, 2011 at 8:34 pm and is filed under Sebastian. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

 
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