Hypes and Gripes – June 2011

June 23, 2011
  • Gripe: My blog DISAPPEARING for a week. Now that I’ve looked at my stats, I can see that it was a blank, unviewable page for seven whole days (even though I didn’t realize it for the first few). Scary.
  • Hype: It’s back! My daddy fixed it!! Yay! Dear blog, I apologize for updating your plugins so infrequently and for not upgrading to the new version of WordPress many months ago as I should have. Won’t happen again.
  • H: Yearbook DONE, at long last! Now let’s hope we didn’t leave out or misspell something important.
  • H: Report cards DONE, at long last! Now let’s hope I didn’t leave out or misspell something important.
  • G: Yearbook and report cards wiped me out, coinciding like that. I was very tired and grouchy for at least a week there. (Actually, I’m still working on catching up. Not too resilient right now.) You can maybe tell that the errands mentioned below were done during that time, hence the inner kvetching.
  • G: The cover story on Star Weekly (“number one source for celebrity news”, they’ll have you know) about eating disorders and starvation diets, featuring shocking photos of ultra-skinny celebs, mostly in swimsuits. I saw it in the checkout line at the grocery and it frankly pissed me off. This is the same dishrag that regularly highlights “Best and Worst Beach Bodies”, designed to make all normal women feel awful about themselves, because it is heinous to show up on a beach with muffin top or cellulite. What the eff-bomb do they think celebrities are going to do??
  • G: Bra shopping. Why don’t they seem to make my favourite bra in my size anymore? There is just no way I’m ever going to be quite as boobelicious as a DD. And bra shopping is a pain in the you-know-whats now that I’m old and have been through the lactation experience. When you’re a thirteen-year-old late bloomer just hoping you might actually, finally fill an A-cup, the adventure of trying on different bras is quite titillating (sorry, couldn’t resist). But now, I just look at the overwhelming panoply and grumble inwardly about how I don’t have time for this – plus, the super-power-push-up-supreme-cleavage-deluxe bra is just NOT practical, thanks! I need the girls to stay in there.
  • H: My new two-year-old enjoying his birthday presents. He has been particularly stoked about the travel easel, art supplies, bouncy ball, bubble maker, sidewalk chalk, and toy school bus. In fact, he was so sad to let go of his school bus at bedtime the first night that he apparently sobbed bitterly and had to give it a kiss and a hug to make himself feel better.
  • G: His irrepressible passion for his markers. Good thing Crayola knows how to make ‘em washable. (Note: he DOES know better, he absolutely knows that we only draw on paper, but he was so pleased with himself that he romped around the crib with a big grin during his time-out, watching Daddy clean up. Also, he markered all over his own legs, but because he was without pants at the time, the photos are not bloggable.)

photo e1308881415535 225x300 Hypes and Gripes   June 2011

  • H: Skype date between E and the son of Auntie Em’s best friend. She was visiting their family in North Carolina – this little guy is 16 months older than mine, but they’re both cute and blond and articulate, and totally able to take in stride the miraculous futurism of video-chat. It was cute. They compared balls.
  • G: My boy swearing like a sailor. He’s gone from filling in for “What the…?!” to simply saying, for the joy of it, “Heck. Heckheckheckheckheck. Heck!” And watching us defiantly the whole time.
  • H: Hearing it was hilarious. (But it’s really hard not to laugh at these moments when you know you mustn’t because it’ll send the completely wrong message.)
  • (Side note: This morning I actually said “What the heck?!” in E’s presence, so of course he jubilantly chimed in. I tried to fix it by saying things like “What in the world?!” and even “What in the Sam Hill?!” with lots of expression, but they didn’t take at all. Guess there’s nothing so satisfying as good ol’ heck.)
  • H: A couple other recent habits my son has picked up: talking about what he likes or loves (e.g. when the window is open in the car, he’ll say, “I like the wind!” many times in a row, or when we reminded him on the way to a visit that Grandma has a pond, he said, “I love the pond!” ad nauseam); and loving Mommy’s arms. He will take hold of one of my arms and hug it and kiss it, and blow raspberries on it. (I taught him the word “embouchure” to refer to his raspberry technique.)
  • H: Grapefruit Splash hand soap in my bathroom. It’s so juicy and zesty that I can hardly wait to wash my hands. Not to mention deliciously fragrant samples of certain skin care items from Nature Balance Wellness, where my sister now works. Including some soothing products for baby bums. icon smile Hypes and Gripes   June 2011
  • G: Speaking of babies, Baby #2 has been poking me in my right side for a month straight. It’s getting rather sore.
  • G: Today at the midwives’ I found out it’s not a knee or an elbow, but his head. Which means A) said head is not remotely where it’s supposed to be yet, and B) he’s in there diagonally, reclining like he’s in a La-Z-Boy. If my uterus wasn’t already some weird shape, it is now!
  • H: Other than that, Baby #2 seems great so far. Only two months (or so) left – I can hardly believe it! (Wow, we really have to get on that name thing…)
  • H: Performing this Friday! Two of the five of us performing the Invoketress group numbers are 7+ months pregnant, so it’s kinda special. Plus, really good choreographies that are actually performance-ready!
  • G: One of my costumes took some serious adjusting this afternoon, and now I’m all needle-pricked and I even burned myself on the glue gun like a doofus. Sigh. Why do I procrastinate on these things? (The answer is, I do not have an affinity for sewing.)
  • G: I’m missing the end-of-year staff party in order to perform. This year, due to major rearrangement in our Board, we are losing many beloved teachers all at once, so I really wish I could be there for the official farewell. There’s going to be lots of crying (in which I would no doubt participate), and heartfelt speeches I really don’t want to miss. [Sad face.]
  • H: Only a week left of school!! In my case, I’m most psyched about A) not climbing four flights of stairs several times a day while pregnant, B) not spending time on the third floor of an un-air-conditioned 90-year-old school while pregnant, C) not rushing to get E to the babysitter in time to get to school for yard duty, and D) not having to quell the antsiness of large groups of children who just want to get to summer already. Go nuts, kids!

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Categories: Bellyciousness, Foughts and Theelings, Humanitrivia, Rants - Why I Don't Love, Toddlerama.

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Oh, Internet, you’re SO FUNNY!

June 12, 2011

Have you ever noticed how The Internet is chronically self-referential, using mostly itself for fodder? Sometimes I think it’s like an incestuous alternate universe where we think we’re humans on Earth but we’re all just playing into the system of the real world, THE WEB. (Oops, suddenly sounding like a Keanu Reeves movie. Sorry.) Please allow me to take it one step further and blog about this phenomenon: it’s time to get META. (I’ve spent many hours recently focusing my mushy pregnant brain very hard on getting work done in time for deadlines, so I’ve earned this silly blog post, dammit.)

I’m officially getting on the meme train today. For once, I’m so cool that I’m hearing about one that’s only nine days old (even though you may have already seen it – it’s making the rounds at an astounding rate).

Okay. Just watch.

Whether it’s real or not, it’s funny stuff, no? (And some of the comments made Sean and me laugh almost as hard as the video.) Personally, I think this is an actress – a good one! – trying out a YouTube stunt… and succeeding wildly. Over THREE MILLION HITS in a week. Kudos, hartmanncara, way to go viral.

Then there’s this – it was hard to pick a favourite. Just go to peanutweeter.com to see more Peanuts comics matched up with random people’s actual Twitter posts…

tumblr llrqi1kxkp1qewxco 300x261 Oh, Internet, youre SO FUNNY!

And then we have damnyouautocorrect.com, the site that has never failed to make me cry actual tears of laughter – if you’ve been before, you know it’s worth making a habit of. Laughing until you almost hyperventilate is really good for your heart. Here’s one of the few G-rated ones (a cute one, but not a tears-of-laughter one; you’ll have to visit the site for those):

pancake 300x247 Oh, Internet, youre SO FUNNY!

Aaannnd… that’s all the indulgence I can allow myself today. Must go to bed at a decent hour, steeling myself for being extra-disciplined tomorrow. Sigh.

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To My Son on His Second Birthday

June 8, 2011

Dear Everett,

Today you are two years old. As I begin to write this, it’s 9:27 p.m., which means that at this time two years ago, you were four minutes old. I knew right away that the 45 hours of pain I’d just finished were well worth it, and I feel that way more than ever now. Your daddy and I were overwhelmed by how amazing and beautiful you were, and we still are today. At two years old, you are so funny and brilliant and delicious, it’s hard to believe.

IMG 0917 300x298 To My Son on His Second Birthday

In front of your beautiful jumbo birthday card on Sunday - thanks, Auntie Beth!

Right now, you are quite a boy’s boy. You love trucks and cars and tractors and trains and all things with wheels; the day you got to see two different street cleaners was very exciting and you talked about it for many days after. I’ve learned to take note of special vehicles myself, even when you’re not in the car with me. (“Oooh, cement mixer, awesome! Wait a sec…”) You also love sticks and rocks and especially gravel – at the park, it ranks right up there with the swings and the slide for fun factor. You ask specifically to “go past the quarry” on our way home from the babysitter’s because it’s all gravel and big machines with wheels.

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Cupcakes AND cake at Grammie and Papa's house

Other things you love: markers and other writing implements (you like to scribble in circles and say “It’s a tomato!”), books (“Puddleman” is a big hit right now), movies (especially Cars), taking walks (whenever you get out of the car, you like to take a little stroll down to the end of the street), and, of course, the park.

IMG 0930 225x300 To My Son on His Second Birthday

You mostly just ate the icing off.

You are also incredibly sweet and loving. You are good at giving hugs and kisses, and you even give them to the baby who’s still in my belly. (We hope you’re starting to understand about the new baby – although sometimes if we ask you “Where’s your baby brother?” you lift up your own shirt and show us your belly.) You love people, especially “kids” – it makes your day when there are lots of kids at the park, or when we go to my school and see the kids. You remember people’s names with scary accuracy. In fact, you astonish people quite often with the way you talk. You speak in full sentences, using long words (such as “helicopter” and “rhinoceros”) and abstract conjunctions and idiomatic past tense forms. You have a little bit of trouble with the difference between “me” and “you” (I admit, it’s a tricky system), so you’ll say “It’s for me,” when you give something to someone else, or “Wanna carry you,” when you’d like to be picked up. (It’s cute, of course.) We never know what you’ll say next – it’s continuously entertaining.

IMG 0935 225x300 To My Son on His Second Birthday

Birthday brunch at the park this morning - we love the way you say "croissant".

Lots of people are wishing you a happy birthday today – we have celebrated with two sets of grandparents and aunts/uncles and will do so with the third soon… You’ve gotten lots of presents, and special cupcakes made by two different aunties, and so many happy messages from people who love you. Daddy and I are incredibly glad to be your parents, and we can hardly wait for you to meet your baby brother and teach him about the world. You are going to be a wonderful big brother.

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Gorgeous cupcake tree by Aunt Amy (you ate the "V", by request).

We love you more every day, so much that it’s impossible to describe. Hugs and kisses forever.

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With Daddy at Grandma and Grandpa's house - you loved these blowouts!

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School Snippets: BIG questions from seven-year-olds

June 2, 2011

I had an interesting discussion with my French Immersion Grade 2s yesterday – an impromptu one that I was not prepared for.

We were looking at the globe and doing a little summative review – remember what continents are? What’s this line around the middle called? Where do we live? Then, one student asked how the Earth happened. Like, how it started, the planet itself.

galactic collision1 300x221 School Snippets: BIG questions from seven year olds

I tried to explain, in French, using my very limited knowledge of planetary theoretical physics, and it was difficult. One of the students suggested, “Madame, tu peux parler en anglais.” Certain students in this class have a tendency to “forget” to speak French, so I wasn’t setting a good example in switching, but I did it anyway. I gave myself a break: this was the first time I can remember having the attention of all 18 of them at once.

(In this particular very-busy group, the attention issues range from “I might be listening or I might decide to play with my friend’s hair instead” to “I don’t listen unless it’s about hockey or weapons” to “Cannot sit! Must writhe and fiddle with my shoelaces and destroy small items from my desk!” Somehow, I guess, planet creation in outer space trumps these problems.) Continued…

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