My List of Excuses

Okay. So here’s why I have been so shamefully neglecting Blogland.

1. Report cards, a.k.a. “Where the @#*! did all this unmarked work come from?!”, a.k.a. “Why the @#*! didn’t I do this marking earlier?!”, a.k.a. “How is it possible that I have half as many students as usual and somehow it seems like more work?”, a.k.a. “In heaven’s name, does anyone really care whether Jimmy’s reading comprehension was satisfactory or considerable??”

2. The Hunger Games series, by Suzanne Collins, a.k.a. “Reeeeead meeeee… NOW! Cast away your report cards, let your child go play with random kitchen utensils, it’ll be okay if you just READ ME.” (Yes, I liked it. Compulsively loved it would actually be a better term. The story, the characters… and especially the horribly imaginative yet profound underlying messages.)


3. My husband, a.k.a. the devil: “No, it’s okay, honey. Just leave the dishes. You go ahead and read your book. Your report cards will be fine. Have a rest and read.” I love him so, my sweet and generous bibliophile.

4. The germs, a.k.a. the time-vanishers. We had a snow day, a very rare occurrence where the entire school board actually shuts down, perfect opportunity to kick some report cards outta the park, and I had the flu or something that day and had to waste the whole thing. Slept for like five hours while E was at the babysitter’s, and was too zonked… even to read.

5. The star, a.k.a. my progeny: constant entertainment + constant requests for stories, crayons, food, trucks, movies, piano, outside, baths, more food, and more stories.

6. The lethargy, a.k.a. dragging myself around as if hung over.

7. The exhaustion, a.k.a. pathological napping, even without the flu.

8. The queasiness, a.k.a. “I’m hungry, but I can’t imagine eating anything containing sugar or salt or any of the foods from the food groups.”

9. The stupidness, a.k.a. brayn onli worx at haff-speed, haff the thyme. Stuff allwez falz out uv it.

10. The freeloader, a.k.a. the tiny human in my belly. Yes, we’re with child #2!

All of the above points can be blamed on Number 10. Well… okay, maybe not report cards… and I guess not the irresistible power of The Hunger Games. But my Number 3 has been lovely about the naps and the resting, partly because I’m busy making us a Number 10. Number 4 is  just accentuated by Numbers 6-9, as is my ability to keep up with Number 5.

We had a dating sonogram on Tuesday. Being told by the ultrasound tech (just as with E), “Wow, this baby’s very active… Swimming!” was a jolt of joy. Especially because there’s always part of me that irrationally doubts that there’s actually a baby in there at all. When you can’t feel the movement, it’s just hard to believe a person is not only forming in there, but jumping around and expressing itself.

Thankfully, now that I’m 13 weeks along, the worst is over. I have some appetite and some energy back, and it’s a lot easier to be excited about a brother or sister for E, and another chance to snuggle a newborn. 🙂 🙂 🙂 In fact, it’s easier in general to be excited, because now I can picture having a baby, for real. The first time, you can try to imagine, but you can’t actually understand how precious that being is going to be, how thrilling its very presence.

And I can’t wait to see E interacting with a brother or sister. I don’t think I have illusions about this – I know there will be bickering and hitting and screeching, but I feel confident there will also be hugs and kisses, and eventually, bizarre conversations only kids can understand, and games of imaginative awesomeness.

Alors, voilà. I’m hoping to enjoy more frequent blog-moments from now on. (This sounds familiar…) Really this time.



6 thoughts on “My List of Excuses

  1. Chris says:

    I say YAY NUMBER 10 too!! And yes, there will be bickering and hitting and screeching. But, there will be MORE hugs, kisses and REALLY bizzare conversations…kind of like the one I listened in to on all 3 of my kids in the bathroom the other day. Amusing, to say the least 🙂

  2. diblog says:

    Chris, I can just imagine! Wish I could listen in too. Given the conversations E has with himself right now, it can only get better!
    And Bev, lucky me, I actually have a very lovely principal who does care about those excuses, particularly #10. He’s thrilled.

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