Toddler Tracks: The Art of Untruth

You know you’re a big boy when you can fib, fake it, and use subterfuge. Our darling child is proving his progress to us with a variety of new skills.

• To heighten drama, he screws up his little face, makes a “huh-huh-huh” sound – and then says “Crying,” in case we didn’t get it.
• When Mommy won’t give him something he wants, he will go to Daddy and try – and vice versa. (Fortunately, we’ve been able to present a basically united front so far.)
• He lies outright about his diaper status, in both dirty and clean situations. In fact, the first time I caught him doing this was when he was having trouble falling asleep:

I asked, “Do you have a poopy diaper?” because sometimes that’s the issue when he’s restless.

He said, “Poopy diaper.”

Me: “Really?”

E: “Poopy.”

Me: “Okay, let’s just check and see if this is true.”

E (looking me straight in the eye): “True.”

It was not true. (In his defense, I don’t think he’d actually ever used the word before.)

E is also learning to: do things we specifically ask him not to, ignore being directly addressed, and zoom in the opposite direction when he’s about to be in trouble. And he has spontaneously developed a habit of whining when things aren’t quite to his liking – despite the fact that we do not give him what he whines for (until he calms down and asks nicely). Just goes to show that kids are their own people, and they’ll cry if they want to. Let me tell you, we are overjoyed.

Of course, we actually are. We still have the best kid. He gives high fives to everyone, including the orangutans in the poster in our kitchen, as well as our winter boots. He says such effective things as “Another cracker, please,” and “Drive it backwards,” and “Lip balm – can’t find it.” (He tends to fixate on grown-up objects that are small enough for his hand, like lip balm, batteries, toothbrushes, and cutlery.)

Tonight while we were playing on the couch, he came out with “I love yoga.” This was in response to my “I love you” – he usually responds in kind, though sometimes he’ll pull a fast one and say “I love… Daddy!” or some other person who’s not me. This was the first mention of his passion for meditative practices.

I will post some photos for y’all next time. E’s been eating nonstop for at least two weeks now, and is noticeably heavier, suddenly outgrowing things I thought had room in them. Before we know it, he’ll be all grown up. 😉

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