Just for shivers…

I had something else I was planning to write about today, but then there’s this. (Sean found it, being the primary internet troller of the household.) It’s simply too bloggable to wait, especially on the heels of that last video.

Ad for Lysol Douche

a) Doubt? Inhibitions? Ignorance??? Chemicals fix those!!!!!!! Why didn’t we think of this before?? Women need not have any problems after all!

b) A woman should always question herself. She is the cause of all her own misfortune, especially any rejection, neglect, or sexual dysfunction with respect to her husband.

c) Ladies, if you were wondering what your goal should be, where your life is headed, what the pinnacle of your achievements will be, look no further: it’s daintiness.

d) Booklet of Feminine Hygiene Facts! Free if you send away for it! What will “leading gynecological authority” say? Feminine undaintiness (disdaintiness?) is actually Satan’s leftover spawn and is the source of all marital, sexual, psychological, and emotional woes. Woman, you were born dirty and it’s your duty to burn the hell out of your bajingo. Then you will be fit to hop in the sack and do some sinning with your hubby.

P.S. “Don’t let me be locked out from you”? What the heck kind of a sentence is that? These copywriters needed some help with jazzy catch-phrases. Even if, as the commenters at boingboing point out, Dave’s in the closet of his own accord… 😉

P.P.S. Some commenters also have dug up information that achieving daintiness was a euphemism for avoiding conception at a time when actual contraceptives were frowned upon – and women knew this.


 

Related Posts:

9 thoughts on “Just for shivers…

  1. Of course!! Why didn’t I know this already? Silly me.. ok, better get off the computer now and go purchase some Lysol! Woohoo, by end of day all my problems will be washed away!
    (p.s. did ya see the clever rhyme I made all by myself? hehe)

  2. emoley says:

    O!

    M!

    G!!!

    so to speak. It’s a relief to know that if your marital love has begun to cool, it’s nothing to do with personality or idealogical differences or hormonal changes or fading looks or clinical depression or anything significant. How many marriages have failed over the years because the wife never knew that she should be using Lysol on her private parts?

    I hope one day I can find a man with such scrupulous standards that a less-than-pine-fresh vaginal area will force him to slowly kill our love.

    • diblog says:

      Modess… because… because what? Because you wanted an excuse to put on some very schmancy dresses, obviously.

  3. Carol Leigh says:

    i ask you, what man would want to place his pure and pristine hygienic prick into his beloved wife’s dirty old vagina! of course she’d want to dainty the hell out of her delicate tissues to please him. otherwise, she’d naturally be distraught and tug desperately at a door full of imaginary locks, crying out for Dave’s mercy.
    what self-respecting wife wouldn’t, eh?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge