This evening, the GGG Book Club met at a public venue for our meeting to “discuss” our Harlequin Romance novel-reading experiences. We all had a few books to read – some of us managed to finish more than others.
I should explain, a couple of us are friends with a Harlequin employee, so we have connections and can get free books. We also have a certain amount of knowledge about Harlequin’s different lines of novels: they range from family-style “no kissing below the forehead” books, to chick lit, to all-out raunchy no-strings-attached sex with lots of dirty talk. (I’ve read just one of that last line, dubbed “Spice”, and it was very low on plot. And character development.)
The books we had this month were in the middle, with titles like Taming the Texas Tycoon and Temporary Boss, Permanent Mistress. The “Super Romance” line was not raved about tonight, because there just wasn’t enough sex in it. Who wants to wait for page 156 to get to the action? Or, in the case of my book, skip it altogether? (They’re kissing, the word “carnal” is used… and then it’s the next morning?!) Some said the same about the “Intrigue” line, which all have plots with mysteries. Tracking criminals is evidently not a substitute for sex either. Smut month = not smutty enough.
Generally, the few “Desire” and “Blaze” novels we had in our group were up to snuff in terms of sex content, but I’ll admit I didn’t bother to read past the middle of mine because I wanted the two main characters to have personalities, but they didn’t – just luscious curves, rock-hard abs, high cheekbones, silky skin, dark tousled hair, blah blah… and a private plane and a yacht. I guess I’ve been spoiled by too many awesome books. Well, and Nora Roberts.
Near the end of our meeting at the cafe, our server came up and said, “Sorry to interrupt your book club, but can I get you anything else?” She had cleverly gleaned from our conversation that it was book club, so one of the girls felt the need to tell her, “Just so you know… we don’t read Harlequins every month! Most of the time we read good books!” (We were at the Bookshelf Cafe, which is partly a bookstore – a place where one doesn’t want to seem literarily shallow.)
Our server smiled and told us she used to volunteer reading books to seniors at an extended care facility, and read lots of Harlequins. I guess now we know where to donate our barely-used romances!
oh, the Perfect Lover! i didn’t read it nearly as much as you and Beth did, and don’t have it memorized, but i do remember once reading it in the first day school room at Meeting :). i think it was the part where they have to share a sleeping bag in the back of the truck. shucks.
remember reading the smutty parts of books to each other, alternating lines? that was fun. you should do that with book club :). the ones i had (besides PF) were bodice-rippers: one about Julia, who was a street urchin and found her way into the heart of the nobleman (Edward?) who had a heart of stone since losing his wife and she had to melt it with her fiery ways and clever tongue. (I think the BJ in the back of the carriage had something to do with it.) The other was a blond maiden and a coarse dark buccaneer on a ship. i forget what they did besides learn the tender ways of each other’s hearts and loins.
mostly, for smut, i read VC Andrews. And sometimes borrowed Ben’s Bio of a Space Tyrant books. All of which were available in the school library.
um, the word “read” in that last paragraph is the one that sounds like “red.” i haven’t had my hands on Garden of Shadows in 20 years. where has all the smut gone? well, James gave me Sex Lounge but i never made it past the first couple chapters. these days, less smut, more knit. Word Twist is my porn.
by the way, we still have to watch Shameless! i think i could handle a bit of smut if it had James McAvoy in it. sacrifices must be made.
I love Nora Roberts! We should have read her books! Actually, a lot of her early books (many of which are being re-released now) were published by Silhouette… or Harlequin… or is it all the same thing? I don’t know, but at least they have plots and characters.
Sadly, I used to read a lot of Harlequins (brain candy; empty word-calories that can be consumed quickly so as to have the pleasure of reading without actually having to think), but these were so bad that I may have read my last!