My Laminated List, Part I

Today, while eating dinner, we were watching Knocked Up, starring Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl. We were commenting – Sean, Auntie Em, and I – on Katherine’s gorgeousness, and Sean mentioned, “Yeah, she might be on my list.”

So I think it’s time to get this one out in the open. The “laminated list” from Friends has become part of pop culture for a certain generation: it’s a list of the celebrities with whom your significant other would concede you could, uh, get jiggy if you had the opportunity. (And it makes the assumption that you never will. I mean, they’re celebrities. Besides, if you really think of it, most celebrities have all kinds of sordid baggage, right? Realistically, do you want to get involved and have to consider drug habits, egos, eating disorders, megalomania, jerkishness, what have you? For the purposes of my list, I leave actual personality out of it. They’re all actors anyway, so who knows what their personality is?)

Here they are, members of Dilovely’s Laminated List o’ Famous Men (they all happen to be actors – and yes, I know it’s only supposed to be 5, but I’m a rebel):

1. James McAvoy – May I just state, for the record, that he is actually in a class by himself. I love him way more than I love the rest of these blokes. In fact, I never knew the meaning of a full-fledged celebrity crush until Atonement. There’s just something irresistible about him. He’s cute even in goat legs. He’s truly talented, and (I know I’m leaving personality out of this but) his colleagues speak highly of him so he might be a genuinely cool guy. Plus, he can do any accent – but his real one is Scottish. Sigh.

James McAvoy

James McAvoy


2. Jude Law– was first wowed by him in The Talented Mr. Ripley, couldn’t believe he was so beautiful.

Jude Law

3. Robert Downey, Jr. – was first wowed by him in high school when, for once, my girlfriends and I all were fully satisfied by the same movie: Only You. Somehow, he’s even better-looking now.

Robert Downey Jr.

4. Colin Farrell – he has my preferred eyebrows, and a sexy Irish accent doesn’t hurt either.

Colin Farrell

5. Joseph Fiennes – he has great eyebrows too, and his beautiful, soulful eyes in Shakespeare in Love are simply unforgettable; he looks equally good with whiskers and without.

Joseph Fiennes

6. Ryan Reynolds – He was hot in Van Wilder and Two Guys and a Girl – and he simply continues to be so. Plus: Canadian. 🙂

Ryan Reynolds

7. Ryan Gosling – incredibly talented but also beautiful; amazing that he can do The Notebook, Lars and the Real Girl, and Half Nelson with equal persuasiveness. Plus: Canadian. 🙂

Ryan Gosling

8. Zachary Levi – added as an update, January 2014. He was my “bonus” guy in 2010, when I still had cable and no kids, and watched Chuck on the actual TV. I only ever saw to the end of Season 2. Now that there’s Netflix and I’ve voraciously watched all 5 seasons, this guy actually sneaks right up, list-wise, and rubs elbows with James (see #1). He. Is. A. Dorable. Plus he voiced Flynn Rider in Tangled, one of E’s (and my) favourite Disney movies. If you were to watch this interview, at 6:44 you would discover what clinched his hold on my heart.

zachary levi

And, just for fun, a list of 6 male celebrities that other people love and who, no offense, really don’t do much for me:

1. Hugh Grant – he’s got a charming way about him, but his face is too droopy.

2. Nicholas Cage – something about him reminds me of a monkey.

3. Pierce Brosnan – basically good-looking and dashing and all, but… meh.

4. Harrison Ford – yes, he’s Han Solo and Indiana Jones, he’s a legend, etc., but physically – and I know this is sacrilege – I don’t see what all the fuss is about.

5. Robert Pattinson – Yes, I loved the Twilight books, but I had a very different Edward in mind. This one was a big disappointment for me.

6. Brad Pitt – I know, I know! What’s wrong with me? I don’t deny he’s awful pretty, but he just doesn’t wow me. Maybe if he were Scottish.

And now it’s Dilovely’s bedtime, but please stay tuned for the Laminated List, Part II: if I swung (swang?) the other way

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  1. that’s interesting… I have never seen Zach Levi as anything other than Chuck although even nerdy he is kinda pretty hot.

    but stop distracting me from the real point, Darci!!

    The REAL point is, as ALWAYS, our boyfriend, James McAvoy. Di, don’t forget that Anne Hathaway was all like, “At first I thought he was a pretty cool guy and fun to work with but then we started doing the scene and I was like, woah, excuse me, I’m working with a Future Legend!” Plus she said he was a really great kisser. Which we knew anyway. You can just tell. Those of us who REALLY love him know all. Though he would never admit to it, being the self-effacing guy he is. True perfection remains unheralded. Except by us.

  2. p.s. hee heeeee, Hugh Grant IS totally droopy. He’s like that bassett hound cartoon guy. Though he was once #1 on the list due to Chopinity and Mauricitude (Clive Durhamosity, that is).

    I fell for Pierce Brosnan as Phileas Fogg but his appeal wore off a bit in subsequent features. Overdone, I guess.

    I agree about Cage too. I have found him somewhat cute before but always in a Neanderthal mouth-breather kinda way. He did play Alessandro Nivola’s brother the one time, though, which gives him points in my book.

    And Jude Law definitely in Ripley. So very golden old-days, like he actually was (hollywood) royalty from the 30s or something. He’s never repeated that particular glow, though Napkinhead the widowed dad in Holiday was of course cute.

    You know that I’d trade Joseph for Ralph though. Older sibling thing, I guess.

    You know who else never did it for me? Michael Douglas. I just don’t get it. He’s a little gross.

    And the Sheens. Not gross, but just nothing there.

    And while I admit that Colin Firth has his moments for sure, and did play a fine Darcy (old and new), and that guy who learns the Portuguese in Love Actually… he doesn’t do much for me.

    …but I’m surprised you left out Johnny Depp! I thought he was like ubiquitously adored!

    If you had a list that included men who are NOT actors, who would be on it?

  3. (p.s. – my (actor) list would also include besides the aforementioned: Vincent Perez…Tony Leung…Patrick Dempsey… Jimmy Stewart…I’m on the fence about Nathan Fillion these days.

    Do I only get 5? The other contenders are a bit cliché – Paul Newman, Richard Gere, George Clooney, Liam Neeson. Probably Alan Rickman. Bruno Ganz. Matthew McConnaughey (good grief, where is she going with this?). John Cusack. Jeremy Northam (whatever happened to him?). Toby Stephens and his dad as a package deal. The Wilson brothers, ditto. Obviously have some narrowing down to do.

    Peter Gabriel is technically not so much an actor, so he can have his own list. Yo-Yo Ma would be on that one too. Jon Stewart is also verging on another list, but he is pretty cute, though more in a best-buddy kinda way, though maybe the best buddy that you end up falling in love with after they get engaged to someone else. Just like in that movie with Patrick Dempsey where Michelle Monaghan falls for Kevin McKidd, who incidentally is good list fodder even if purely for being Count Vronsky. And Scottish (Scots?) (Though he excels at American in Grey’s Anatomy). Anyone from Scotland automatically gets double points. Maybe triple.

    Doncha love it when I comment late at night?)

  4. p.s to the p.s. In the Land of Laminated Lists, beautiful actors never die. And always remain preserved at the peak of their physical and societal charms, whenever that may be. The prospect of sharing sodas with 1946 Jimmy Stewart is about as likely as with 2010 Johnny Depp, so we’re not judging here. Paul Newman is still selling salad dressing, even if he is dead. The world is an amazing place.

  5. I have some more comments but I think I should leave them for another day. 5 is probably enough for right now.

  6. LOL Em! You crack me up! And if you’ve never see Zach as anything other than “Chuck” then, please, let me direct you to here:

    Yes ladies, you many call it your Laminated List (which I’ve never heard before now I am ashamed to say) but here in backwoods NB, we call it our “To Do List” 😉 And Zach tops it every time, with Sean Connery following a close 2nd!

  7. Just watched the Chuck moment – aw, Chuck E. Cheese… the good times…

    Who was there when we were talking about John Laroquette? Was that Beth? And how he was in Ba Binth Bingdom? And here he is!! 🙂

    I like the pics you’ve put up. Ah, Ryan Gosling… he is totally on my list. Except he has the disturbing quality of resembling Matt Reeves. Ew. I try not to hold that against him.

    I don’t think I knew Ryan Reynolds was Canadian! Did he and Nathan Fillion know each other before 2 Guys and a Girl?

    I think you should link to the Handsome Men’s Club here. A propos.

  8. My Tops:

    Jason Statham – his sweet accent totally makes up for his lack of hair.

    Edward Norton – no one can deliver dialogue like him.

    Daniel Craig – it might have been because the first movie we watched on our HDTV was a Bond movie and I couldn’t get over his crazy blue eyes. I like that he’s a bit older and looks a little roughed up.

    Totally agree with your Ryan Reynolds – just totally all around cute.

    I used to really dig Jude Law but the nanny affair really ruined it for me. But personality aside, yes, he’s still pretty yummy.

    And I totally agree with every single one of your non-list picks, especially Nicholas Cage. Does that guy’s voice ever change in pitch?

    Very interesting picks…!

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