Meet the New Lady

January 25, 2012

So far, Mr. A is winning: I’m pretty sure “Di-hards” is my favourite suggestion regarding club names to make us sound more cool. (Well, he suggested it along with “fans”, but I’m just not sure I pull that off.) To me, you’re di-hards because you rock no matter what. You’re here for the funny stuff and the sad stuff, whether we’re discussing poop or politics. You inspire me every time I write. If you weren’t here, I wouldn’t be either.

What do you think? Are y’all down with your new monicker? Because the polls are still open – if you have more suggestions, feel free…

Okay, back to business. Would you like to meet my new friend? Here she is.

Kiwaya KS 4P ukulele Meet the New Lady

In my mind, I call her Lady, in honour of the yoga ladies. She is damn gorgeous.

Here’s how we came to be together.

Sometime in early 2007, Dilovely heard this guy play this song on CBC Radio 2, and promptly fell for both (you may remember it from the Pick-Me-Up Playlist)

 

Continued…

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Toddler Tracks: Folk Tales

January 23, 2012

Sorry for the six-day postless void, dear readers. I’ll blame report cards.

(Speaking of dear readers… all the cool blogs replace the word “readers” with something funkier. I’m thinking we must also be cool. What should we be?? Send me your suggestions, please!)

E has some new words. One of the special ones he’s learned since Christmas is gyroscope, because my dad gave Sean a set of space-age gyroscopes: they spin in an amazing way and demonstrate the principle of space flight!

lee valley twin gyroscopes 300x135 Toddler Tracks: Folk Tales

Also thanks to Christmas, E has learned what a ukulele is, although at first he was confused because he thought we were saying “yoga lady” (Auntie Em has two statuettes we call “yoga ladies”, rather like these, in her room). Not really very similar to a ukulele.

yoga ladies 300x300 Toddler Tracks: Folk Tales

Other turns of phrase he’s trying out:

Certainly, as in “I certainly do like peanut butter!”

Suppose, as in “I suppose it’s gonna be there all winter.” Continued…

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BANG Movie Review: Sherlock Holmes – A Game of Shadows

January 17, 2012

Almost two years ago, I went to see the first of Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes movies and reviewed it. Last Sunday, Sean and I left the little guy with Grandma and Grandpa and went to see the new installment, A Game of Shadows. (In both cases, I saw the movies long after they arrived in theatres. You may have noticed that my reviews are not exactly cutting-edge. Sorry ’bout that.)

sherlock holmes a game of shadows robert downey jr jude law 300x137 BANG Movie Review: Sherlock Holmes   A Game of Shadows

Critics apparently aren’t loving it because they say “it’s more of the same”, but audiences are happy. I concur with the latter: I liked the first one, so why wouldn’t I want more?

When I saw the trailer for this one, it actually lowered my expectations. I thought it looked kinda cheesy and unthrilling. Then, somehow, I found the movie not cheesy at all – and totally exciting. (In fact, I’m pretty sure they axed at least one of the trailer’s cheesier lines in the final cut. Not to mention a kiss.)

I enjoyed all of the same things as last time – but perhaps even more so.

  • The art direction (isn’t that the thing where they create the atmosphere and mood?) is incredibly evocative, transporting, with lots of variety (we went from university to warehouse, mansion to forest, underground lair to mountainside castle, from England to France to Germany to Switzerland) but still somehow cohesive. The outside view of that castle – especially in the dark – was awesomely chilling.

Sherlock Holmes game of shadows Castle 300x167 BANG Movie Review: Sherlock Holmes   A Game of Shadows Continued…

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The Angel Tree

January 14, 2012

This week, we went to our local cemetery in Sebastian’s honour – for the first time.

We were told by a friend (thank you, C) about something called the Angel Tree, in the children’s section of the Memorial Garden. Bereaved parents were invited to put an ornament on the tree in remembrance of a deceased child, and after today, all the decorations will be removed and buried there.

I bought four little wooden cutouts, two hearts and two stars, and Sean and I got our inner artists out to paint them. We made one for the Angel Tree and one for our own Christmas tree.

We had hoped to visit the cemetery earlier in the holidays, and earlier in the day, but you know how the Christmas season is – way too busy, and vacation (if you’re lucky enough to have it) slips away much too fast. We went on Wednesday after school, but left later than we meant to, and the daylight faded as we crossed town to get to the cemetery. It was pretty dark when we arrived.

I’ve spent some time in cemeteries before, and they can be lovely, peaceful, beautiful places. This experience was tranquil and quiet, but bleak. I was taken aback to find that even though the Angel Tree was so tiny it only reached my midsection, it was not at all full. Our decoration joined only a few others. It’s possible some were removed earlier, if the tree got too full to hold more… or it’s possible not very many people knew about it. I hope it’s the former – not because I hope lots of parents have lost children, but because I know they have. (Sadly, the only information I could find about the Angel Tree was a short paragraph in the local free paper – I couldn’t even find anything on the cemetery’s own website.)

We don’t have a gravesite for Sebastian. We keep some of his ashes in our pendants, but we have not yet scattered the rest – we have plans for that for next July. We never really thought of a gravestone, simply because it’s not our style, but I can see how it would be comforting to have a permanent marker in such a historical, communal place.

It was sad to be in the Children’s Garden at nightfall, after Christmas. I mean, baby graves are sad at any time, but this was particularly melancholy. There wasn’t even any snow to light our way – it’s been a rather dark, snowless winter so far. Still, we found the children’s section easily, despite being unacquainted with the cemetery, because many of the graves had coloured lights on them. When we looked at them more closely, we found many had Christmas gifts as well. (Fortunately, it was not as dark as it looks in this picture.)

IMG 1154 225x300 The Angel Tree Continued…

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Sleep

January 10, 2012

You know how sometimes, people suck? You know those days when you look at the world and go, “How did we even get this far? We’re shallow and violent and self-centred. We hurt each other and we waste and we destroy and WE SUCK.”

Then there are those other days: the days where you’re reminded that humanity is freakin’ amazing.

Today I did not go to school, because I didn’t really sleep last night. Rarely in my life have I had insomnia, but suddenly it was like my body forgot how to sleep. Even though I didn’t feel anxious in my mind, my physical self was in the grip of unplaceable jitters.

This happened on Saturday, too, but for only a couple hours (instead of five) and I chalked it up to “going back to school” syndrome. The first day back at school was fine, so I have no idea what last night was about. I guess I have to get accustomed to myself no longer always being quite the self I used to be.

Anyway, boring story. Today, I slept in but am still rather out-of-it. I felt I was up to the task of [beginning the work of] cleaning out my inbox. I found this fantastic TED Talk, originally sent to me last April by my musical father-in-law, about Eric Whitacre and his virtual choir – and I’d never watched it. I usually don’t think I have time to watch things when I receive them, but this one reminded me that sometimes it really is worth the fifteen minutes.

I cried watching it. Not that it’s so surprising – I am somewhat sleep-deprived… and there’s no question that in the last six months, tears are always closer to the surface for me.

But this is just plain awesome. I’ve written a lot about music and its power and importance. I know first-hand how incredible and transformative it can be to make music with other people. I believe strongly that it makes us better, both as a species and as our own selves.

This is a perfect example: take that power, and combine it with the potential uniting force of the internet, and you get this. An individually self-chosen community of people who love to sing beautiful music, and want to give it back to the world. Seemingly random souls, with their bedhead and their earphones and their baseball caps, coming together from countries all over the world, just singing.

I dare you not to be moved.

Here’s the full version of the second song, called Sleep:

It made me think of Ze Frank’s Chillout song, created in the same way but on a smaller scale. (I’ve linked to this one before in my Top 10 Pick-Me-Ups, but it bears re-linking.) The story of how he – and a whole crowd of strangers – just up and brewed this simple, beautiful thing when one of his fans wrote to tell him about what a rough time she was having… well, it’s worth many, many points in the “humankind rocks the casbah” column.

Makes me wish I had a whole lifetime to spend just on discovering all the ways that humans spread love and awesomeness through music – and joining in.

***


 

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Toddler Tracks: More Quotables

January 4, 2012

We note down E’s fun sayings in all kinds of places. If I’m near my laptop, I note them here, but otherwise it might be the white board or any random scrap of paper. Sometimes I find them months later… but it’s never too late to blog ‘em, right?

IMG 11411 225x300 Toddler Tracks: More Quotables

Here are some as-yet-un-archived tidbits from the summer, noted by Auntie Em on days when she was caring for E:

Auntie Em: You ate all your beans! Do you want some more beans?
E: No. I had enough. (E puts truck in the bean water.) It’s all wet! I have to change him. Change his wheels.

E: These are goblets.
Auntie Em: I don’t believe you.
E: I don’t believe you.
A few minutes later…
Auntie Em: These are – what was it???
E: I don’t believe you.
Auntie Em: (laughing uncontrollably)
E: Bleems! Bleems, bleems, bleems… Emi’s laughing. [Bleems was his favourite made-up word for a while. It made him grin like a little maniac.]

E is banging on the wall next to the change table with his car.
Auntie Em: Don’t bang on the wall! Be gentle.
E strikes the wall softly, looks to check Auntie Em’s reaction, then rolls the car over the wall gently.
E: I’m just rolling it. Feel better now.
Auntie Em: Who’s gonna feel better?
E: The wall. The wall, feel better, ok? Continued…

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The Year You Were Here

December 31, 2011

Dear Sebastian,

Today is the last day of the year 2011. This has been a very special year for us.

In 2011, we heard your heart beating. We saw you swimming around in my womb, and we found out you were a boy.

In 2011, I got to feel you moving inside me, and it made me happy (even when it was uncomfortable). We spoke to you, and waited for you with excitement.

In 2011, we gave you your name. Your big brother liked to say it, and talk about you, and give you hugs from outside my belly.

In 2011, you were born into our arms, tiny and beautiful and still. We held you close for as long as we could. I touched your silky cheek and did my best to memorize your face. We told you we loved you.

This is the year you were here. I am sad to see it end, because I know I will not do any of those things in 2012.

Last night, thinking of the time we spent with you, I missed you so much, it felt like you could have been with us only yesterday. Even though it hurts a lot that you aren’t here, pain is good sometimes. That’s how I know you’re still with me, in the warmest, brightest, snuggliest part of my heart – right next to your brother.

In 2012, we will still think about you, and talk about you, and say your name. And we will still love you, always.

hand2 224x300 The Year You Were Here

I hope you can feel it.

***


 

 

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Wordless Wednesday: Christmas Season

December 28, 2011

IMG 1094 225x300 Wordless Wednesday: Christmas Season

IMG 1097 225x300 Wordless Wednesday: Christmas Season

IMG 1113 225x300 Wordless Wednesday: Christmas Season

IMG 1106 225x300 Wordless Wednesday: Christmas Season

IMG 2389 225x300 Wordless Wednesday: Christmas Season

IMG 2392 225x300 Wordless Wednesday: Christmas Season

Continued…

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Thinking about Jesus’ Mama

December 25, 2011

I was brought up Quaker, Christian in a mild sort of way. We didn’t talk lots about Jesus, but we knew what Christmas was meant to be about. We did Christmas pageants, we sang carols, we read the Bible story of the birth of Jesus every year. (Of course, we also read ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas with a similar level of reverence, but we knew it was a completely different kettle of sugarplums.)

I like the story of Christmas. I like the image of a baby bathed in starshine, protected by the friendly beasts, mysteriously drawing believers to trek from afar to worship him. I like the idea of the world celebrating so that the “fields and floods, rocks, hills, and plains repeat the sounding joy.”

I was probably about thirteen when I read Robert Fulghum’s It Was On Fire When I Lay Down On It. Reading his essay about pondering, I realized for the first time that Mary was, as he says, a “teenage kid” in a barn when she bore the Son of God.

Nowadays, I know that most first-time moms in biblical times would have been teenagers, because lifespans did not allow for dallying much past puberty in the business of family planning. But when I first read this, I was a teen and could NOT conceive (sorry) of having a child. Much less a child I didn’t ask for, planted by the Almighty before I’ve even “known” a man.

I just think that if I were in such a situation, I’d be scared outta my gourd.

So when I contemplate Jesus’ birth, I hope that the details left out by Matthew and Luke were the untold story of an exhilarating birth experience for young Mary.

JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH NEW JEWISH 300x213 Thinking about Jesus Mama

I hope she was not having real contractions while she was riding on a donkey from Nazareth to Bethlehem. Being in a moving car while in labour is bad enough; a donkey ride would be excruciating.

I hope she had a deep affinity for animals, and secretly wanted to give birth in the straw, surrounded by their creaturely sounds and smells… and in blissful ignorance of the kinds of pathogens that exist in a livestock barn. Because if I were moments away from giving birth, being told – over and over – that I couldn’t have a bed or any decent place to rest… well, I might just freak right out on one of those innkeepers.

I hope Joseph held her hand and told her she was doing great, awesome, amazing. I know there’s no way he fed her ice chips, but I hope he had some water nearby.

I hope she had one of those smooth labours: quick but not too quick, with the baby in an ideal position to be born, just a few pushes – and there was the Prince of Peace. Because it’s crossed my mind more than once: giving birth as a virgin would be… um, ouch. (Perhaps God gave her the gift of elasticity, or maybe Jesus healed her flesh on his way out.)

I hope she looked at her newborn son and fell directly in love with him. I hope whatever fear she might have been feeling melted away as she looked at his little face, knowing she was meant to be his mama. I hope he latched right on with no trouble, and they got to have some beautiful mother-son snuggling time before all the “astrologers, sheep ranchers, and angels” started showing up. I hope he slept well – especially with all the travelling they were going to have to do, all too soon.

I hope that when she lost him, many years later, she felt it had been worth the pain to parent such a very special boy. That she was comforted by many sweet memories with her extraordinary son. There’s no doubt in my mind that she was a wonderful mother, or she wouldn’t have been the one to have him.

pieta4 300x300 Thinking about Jesus Mama

She must have been euphoric to see him again, a few days later. After all she’d endured, she deserved that moment. I hope it brought her peace.

jesusresurrectionstory 300x225 Thinking about Jesus Mama

It’s 1 a.m. on December 25th. Time for bed.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

***


 

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The Christmas Conundrum

December 23, 2011

When I first started thinking about the Santa Claus myth in relation to my own child, I wasn’t sure I liked the idea. A bit of a bleeding-heart “How can I lie to my child?” thing. Why would I bother with this farce, this deception?

Now that my child is old enough to start getting the concept… I’m starting to think that perhaps Santa Claus really does exist.

You see, I’ve realized that ol’ St. Nick is here, whether we bring him up or not. We haven’t really talked with E about Santa Claus, but he still knows about him – from books, from talking with the other kids at day care, from ubiquitous festive imagery.

Furthermore, there’s all this proof of his existence. He’s not just at the mall. The government is in on it, and we’ve gone way past the level of Miracle on 34th Street; now, not only can Canada Post deliver your letter to Santa, they can guarantee he’ll write back! And that’s just the beginning: you can Skype with Santa, you can email Santa… and the savvy chap is not just on email – he blogs and tweets!

So if I really wanted to NOT do Santa, it would involve one of two things:

a) revealing basically the entire population of the continent to be liars and co-conspirators, OR

b) engaging in far greater subterfuge and stress to avoid exposing our son to Santa. (We’d obviously have to move to the backwoods.)

I might do the former, if I had a good reason. Sean and I agree that we definitely DO NOT want to raise one of those little spoiler turkeys who chooses opportune moments to sneer, “Santa doesn’t exist, dummy! He’s just your mom and dad,” at kids who still believe. But we could find a way around that, if we had to.

But why fight it? It’s not such a horrible myth, if done right. Jolly magical guy who wants to make children happy – that’s kinda nice. Industrious, dextrous elves and flying reindeer with kickass names – pretty cool. Rewards for good behaviour, well – we parents do that all the time already. As long as we avoid sanctimony when it comes to the Naughty/Nice list. (I’ve seen kindergartners pass judgment on each other’s N/N status based on recess skirmishes.)

And does it destroy a child’s world to find out the truth? We discussed this very question in the staffroom the other day. There were a couple sad stories – one in particular where someone’s Grade 4 teacher told the whole class they were stupid if they still believed in Santa Claus – but for the most part, people remember just gradually figuring it out… and being okay with it. Simply outgrowing the concept.

More importantly, most of us loved believing in Santa, and so did/do their kids. There were lots of cool anecdotes about Christmas elves or bears who would show up every December and keep an eye on children; mysterious reindeer prints to be found in the snow; telltale bits of red to indicate a painted sleigh or a furry suit; even jingle bell sounds far off in the night on Christmas Eve. I have very clear memories of trying to stay up late, so we could even just hear Santa Claus arrive (I don’t think I wanted to actually meet him, just know he was there).

It was SUPER-FUN. Christmas was exceedingly thrilling, those years I believed in Santa.

Point being… I think E’s going to get a dump truck from Santa this year.

***


 

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